7 New Year's Resolutions To Stop Focusing On Finding Love & Start Focusing On Yourself

Raise your hand if you're single. OK, now keep it raised if one million well-meaning people have heard about your relationship status, given you puppy-dog eyes, and sympathetically said, "You know, you only find love when you stop looking for it." It's the most annoying advice ever, right? I know this is easier said than done, but there's no point in resolving to stop focusing on finding love in hopes that you'll accidentally stumble into a relationship. It's much healthier to simply focus on yourself.

I don't mean that in some sappy, self-help kind of way. Finding love comes down to luck — either you meet the right person at the right time, or you don't. You can't control luck. So why bother trying?

I tried really hard to fall in love last year. One night, in late December, I was indulging in my favorite hobby, which is lying in a hot bath with a glass of Pinot Noir in one hand and my phone in the other hand so I can read my horoscope. Susan Miller told me a three-year dark cloud was about to lift from my love life, and that I was bound to find romance. Sure enough, I had gone through a terrible breakup three years ago to the very day, and had plans to go out that night. So, I threw on a glittery dress, scanned the dance floor for the first man I was attracted to, and spent the next five months trying to convince him I was cool enough to be his girlfriend. Normal!

That was a massive waste of time. In the wake of him dumping me, I finished writing a novel (it comes out in June!), dedicated enough time to barre classes that random Swiss men now slide into my DMs to ask about my workout, and landed this sweet job right here at Elite Daily. Literally, just imagine what else I could've done if I hadn't wasted my winter and spring pining after some dude who loves Burning Man.

Take it from me: In 2018, focus all your energy on doing exactly what you please, whether that's treating yourself to a wine bath every week or traveling the world. All those ideas (and more) are below.

1. Make Self-Care A Regular Habit

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Drink Pinot Noir in a tub fizzing with LUSH bath bombs! Grab that sheet mask you're eyeing in the checkout line at Sephora! Document your skincare regimen in excruciating detail on Instagram Stories! Life is too short to not channel your inner Oprah. I know she's in there somewhere. Find her.

2. Save Up For A Trip With Your Friends

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Go hiking and camping, just like Lindsay Lohan does in The Parent Trap. Or go ride horses in Napa Valley, just like Lindsay Lohan does in The Parent Trap. Or — wait for it — go to London, just like Lindsay Lohan does in The Parent Trap. Finding your long-lost twin sister is optional; what's mandatory is having a great f*cking time with your friends who already act like your sisters.

3. Finish That Project You've Been Dying To Do Forever

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Take that yoga teacher training course, curate your gallery wall, revamp your resume. To clarify: Boring tasks like cleaning out the back of your closet do count because you'll feel more productive afterward; marathoning through all 19 seasons of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, while worthwhile, does not.

4. Upgrade Your Pajama Situation

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Every girl needs one silky robe, slinky slip, or matching PJ set. This is the hill I will die on. You will never regret it, I promise.

5. Find A Workout Routine You Don't Hate (And Stick To It)

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As a wise lawyer once taught me, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t." And if you do ever find love with someone someday, you don't want to shoot them. No, seriously, your mom, your high school gym teacher, and your therapist weren't lying to you all those years: Working out really does make your feel better. Maybe try spinning? Zumba? Nobody ever has a bad time at Zumba.

6. Read A Book A Week

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Or a book a month. When you're in a relationship, you sort of have to compromise on your entertainment — they'll watch Vanderpump Rules with you if you watch that orc cop movie starring Will Smith. But if you're just settling onto the couch solo to read a good book, you get to choose exactly what you want to read.

7. Treat Yourself To A Vibrator

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Here you go. You're welcome.

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