Relationships
6 Personality Types That Value Quality Time With Their SOs The Most

by Rebecca Strong
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Originally Published: 

For some folks, a compliment or a thoughtful gift from bae is what makes them feel warm and fuzzy. But for others, it’s all about good old-fashioned quality time — as in, spending a lazy Sunday in bed together, having a deep discussion while cooking dinner together, or taking a little road trip to explore a nearby town. If you're looking for a little insight on who prioritizes this, you can rejoice in knowing this: There are particular Myers-Briggs personality types that value quality time with their partners.

Based on decades of his own research, marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman came up with a system of five "love languages" in the interest of helping people better understand how to give and receive love in their relationships. One of those languages is quality time, which entails giving your partner your undivided attention with no multitasking. Making eye contact, actively listening, and being fully present all play a part in this. That means no texting, emailing, Instagramming, or Snapchatting.

For some of us, this may come easily. For others, it may require a little extra effort. But for these particular MBTI types, it’s well worth it to carve out some time in your busy schedule to make them feel truly cherished.

INTJ

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The Architect is known for being extremely independent, so it may come as a surprise that this type prioritizes quality time. However, logical INTJs also crave intellectual stimulation, which is why they value having a partner who’s willing to discuss and explore all of their theories and philosophies. They are super original and innovative thinkers, and therefore, appreciate a partner who’s interested in hearing about their latest ideas.

So, if you want to make an INTJ feel loved, make an effort to learn about their passions so you can discuss them at length, and when they make it a point to share something with you, be sure to give them your full attention. Remember, an INTJ values quality time, but more specifically, they value time spent on activities that are mentally engaging.

ISTJ

Time is a commodity for the practical, productive, and responsible ISTJ, so penciling you in for date night is their way of expressing how much they love you. The Logistician is an introverted sensing dominant type, which means that they are organized and detail-oriented. So, not only does ISTJ consider time to be valuable in general, but they’re far more likely to make deliberate plans than spontaneously decide to hang.

The dutiful ISTJ is all about getting sh*t done, so don’t be surprised if they’re happy to be your companion while you run errands, or help you to rearrange your living room furniture. Since they’re extremely hardworking, they may also be grateful to enjoy some much-needed downtime and relaxation with you.

INTP

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Quiet, analytical, efficient, and observant, these are just a few of the qualities that INTP is known for. The Logician is often misunderstood by others, however, which is why it’s extra important to this type to feel understood by their SO. And the only way to gain a deep understanding of an INTP partner is to spend some quality time with them. Considering that they’re a thinking-dominant type, it makes sense that they would rather show their love than express their feelings verbally.

If you want to make an INTP feel loved, schedule some one-on-one time during which you can really get to know them. That might mean asking them to teach you about one of their latest hobbies, trying a new activity together, or scoping out that new exhibit they’ve been excitedly talking about.

INFP

INFPs are true team players when it comes to relationships. They’re all about collaborating with their partners on shared interests, causes, and responsibilities.

That said, given their introverted preference, it’s important to note that the INFP does need plenty of alone time. They’re also relatively private individuals, meaning it may take them some time to open up, but once they do, they’ll be eager to share their passions with you. The INFP wants to feel like a priority to their partner, and setting aside some QT is the best way to ensure that they do.

ENFJ

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According to a 2015 Thought Catalog survey of nearly 2,500 Facebook users, words of affirmation and quality time are what the ENFJ values most. And while it was nearly a tie between the two, quality time still ranked as this personality type’s top priority. That should come as no surprise, given that the warm, sociable ENFJ craves meaningful interactions and emotional connections.

ENFJs place a high value on their relationships in general, and although they tend to have pretty packed schedules, they will always make it a point to schedule some bonding time with bae. It makes them feel good to give loved ones a safe space to air out their concerns, problems, desires, and dreams, so they’re always down to give you their full attention and engage in a deep conversation.

Given that The Protagonist is always focused on self-improvement, and also eager to help their partner to grow as well, they value quality time that can contribute to this kind of personal development.

INFJ

The INFJ is another type that has demonstrated a strong preference for quality time as their love language. Caring, insightful, and highly intuitive, this type has no trouble making meaningful connections with others very quickly. And since they’re not interested in surface-level relationships, they’re always eager to get to know you better on every level. As such, quality time is super important to the INFJ. They thrive in relationships in which their partner shows a genuine interest in learning more about them.

The INFJ specifically values quality time that involves no distractions, so there’s no need to plan elaborate dates with lots of activity. If you can set aside some one-on-one time to talk, cuddle, and simply enjoy each other’s presence, then an INFJ is bound to feel incredibly loved.

Knowing which personality types value QT can be beneficial in a multitude of ways. If you happen to be one of these types, then it may be worth communicating to your partner that you’d love to start setting aside some more bonding time with each other. And if your boo is one of these personality types, then you can start making more of an effort to engage in quality time with them to ensure their needs are being met.

Keep in mind that quality time means different things to different people, while some may live for exciting adventures or mentally stimulating challenges, others may prefer to spend a quiet night at home with some wine and a board game. So, why not ask your boo what their favorite ways to bond with you are? And while you’re at it, be specific about your ideal date night, too.

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