Everyone knows relationships come with the very important element of compromise — making some sacrifices, or at the very least, learning to make decisions together and consider another person's feelings when you make decisions for yourself is part of what makes a partnership work. That said, there are some things you should never feel guilty for asking for when you're in a relationship.
Relationships are work and effort, and there's no getting around that. Being with someone is a choice you make every day, even if it feels like that decision's an easy one most of the time. You have to figure out what works for both of you and sometimes that means asking for what you want or need, just like it means being prepared to listen to what your partner is looking for, too. Whether that means asking for more time together, asking for time apart, or asking for their help doing something that's important to you, the thing to remember is that you're allowed to ask without feeling guilty. Just remember, no matter how long you've been in a relationship, putting yourself first is important — the key is making sure that you do it in a way that is respectful of your partner's needs and feelings, too.
Here are five things you should never feel guilty about asking for in a healthy, fulfilling, and loving relationship — and things you should encourage your partner to ask for, too.
It's pretty much impossible to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship without a foundation of strong communication. So, you should never feel guilty for wanting to have an open, honest conversation with your partner or to establish how you best like to communicate with each other. Whether it's talking about how your days went, figuring out how you want to shape your relationship, or getting on the same page about your future together, you should always feel comfortable asking to communicate with your partner — and you should make them feel OK about doing the same, too.
In general, this is one of those things that you really shouldn't have to ask for in the first place, because in a healthy, happy relationship your partner would just be interested in and supportive of your goals — just like you should be for them. But, thinking more specifically, if your partner can help you fulfill your dreams in any way (maybe you're trying to get into grad school and need help studying, for example, or maybe you need to postpone a date night to go to a networking event) you shouldn't feel bad about asking for it. They should understand and be willing to help — after all, you'd help them if you could, right? Of course, you shouldn't go overboard in asking for things all the time either (especially when it comes to rescheduling plans with them) — just remember, balance is important, too.
Your friendships and your relationships with family are just as important as your relationship, so you should never be with a partner who makes you feel guilty about wanting to spend some time with your other loved ones. If you want to see your sister or go to brunch with your parents or have a night out with your friends, you definitely shouldn't feel guilty about it — just make sure you save some time in your schedule for your partner, too. Again, balance is key!
Along with spending time with your friends and family, you should absolutely never feel guilty about wanting to take some time to yourself, whether it's to just relax or to pursue hobbies and other things that interest you. Unless you've just totally been ignoring making plans with your partner for a while, they should understand. And if you've been spending a lot of time with your partner, you should be able to ask for some alone time, guiltlessly.
On the flip side, it's also totally OK to ask for some quality time to spend with your partner, especially if it's been a while since you've had a proper date night (since you can get sucked into an endless schedule of Netflix and chill so easily!) or time alone together. You should never feel guilty asking to make plans with your partner, as long as you're respecting their time, too. Just remember: Your partner has just as much right to alone time and time with friends and family, too, so don't forget to be accommodating of that as well.
At the end of the day, you should be able to ask for the things you need out of your relationship, and so should your partner. As long as you're willing to compromise and meet each other's needs, you'll be great together.
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