Sometimes, even the people you love the most can get on your last nerve. That might not mean you love them any less, but either way, no matter how much you love your partner, it's normal for them to occasionally push your buttons. The same can be said for the reverse situation. It's totally possible to annoy your partner from time to time, but hopefully, they'll able to let you know you've annoyed them so that it won't happen again. But alas, not everyone is a good communicator. There are several things you'll notice if your partner is low-key annoyed with you and they aren't explicitly saying it — which is a little annoying in and of itself, TBH.
It's important to note that "the problem isn’t getting annoyed per se, since all couples have that happen at times, the problem is what happens next," Dr. Jason B. Whiting, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and researcher of deception and conflict in relationships, tells Elite Daily. "If partners become mean, defensive, or passive aggressive, it will make it worse, and often becomes a fight. If they step back and give some space, or try to talk things out honestly and responsibly ('I am in a bad mood because of work, so I may be misreading what you just did' or, 'You seem upset or irritated, do you want to talk about it?'), then things will likely shift back to normal soon." Below, a few things you may notice if your partner's annoyed with you, but isn't actually telling you so.
If your partner's low-key annoyed with you, chances are it'll show in the way they respond to you or act around you. It may seem like something is off with them. "You might notice yourself saying, 'Is everything OK?' more than usual," relationship and wellness coach Shula Melamed, M.A., M.P.H, tells Elite Daily. "Especially if your partner is not great at expressing their needs directly."
Perhaps you and your boo used to be super touchy with each other, but recently, they seem more withdrawn. Melamed says this could be another sign they're not the most pleased with you at the moment. They may also seem disconnected when you're together, "because they are trying to send you a message by changing their behaviors rather than voicing their frustrations," she continues. "They are hoping these shifts will be read as annoyance or that something is up, which might feel less risky to them rather than being direct."
You know when you say something, and it comes out more aggressively than you intended it to? Well, if your partner is annoyed, you may hear that aggressive tone more often than usual. "If their emotional tone is negative, then there is likely more going on," Dr. Whiting says. "We are designed to pick up on subtle things like body language and nonverbals, and these often communicate more information than the words themselves."
And, of course, if bae is annoyed with you for whatever reason, they're almost certainly going to be passive aggressive. "Your partner can indirectly say things that allude to your past transgressions," Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching, tells Elite Daily. "This can be a clear cue that they are either not over it or have come to some sort of conclusion about you. The danger in this is that the communication is not direct about what caused them to be upset in the first place." You may not even know what it is they're upset about, and in some cases, they may not realize it either, which can lead to further confusion and frustration for both of you.
The way to solve this issue with your partner is the same way you solve most bumps in a relationship: communication. "Sit them down and ask them what is going on in their life, beyond the 'Is everything OK?' question," Melamed recommends. "Set aside a time to hold space for them to hear what's on their mind. Some people aren't great at articulating their needs for a variety of reasons; upbringing, negative experiences with former partners, or perhaps they are just in a tough spot personally and emotionally."
So, try to be open to the fact that talking about whatever is on bae's mind may not be as simple as asking them what's going on. You may have to sit there and listen, without fighting them on what they're feeling. Their emotions are their emotions, and fighting them on those emotions might end up doing more harm than good.
"Give them the opportunity to vent their frustrations without defending yourself," Martinez suggests. "Your only job during this conversation is to absorb the information that is given to you. Once they have thoroughly given you their side, you may address the points they have made. Together, you can come up with ways to make adjustments in the future but make it a point to let them know that communication is key, and they can talk to you directly."
