Here's the thing — you’ve taken some time apart to focus on yourself, you’ve done plenty of reflecting on your relationship and what went wrong, and there's no denying it anymore: you want your ex back. One of the most obvious ways to go about achieving this is to pick up your phone, but before you go nonchalantly typing away, you’ll want to carefully consider the most romantic texts to send your ex. Sure, you could fire off a simple "I miss you," or "I made a mistake," but the reality is, that's probably not going to cut it — not if you're going for a grand gesture that will win them over again, that is.
While there are certainly situations in which you should not get back together with an ex (like, if the relationship was toxic, or if you broke up a week ago), there are also conditions under which it may be worth exploring. The most important thing to consider is: What’s changed since the breakup that might make your relationship work this time around? Once you’ve done some thinking on that front, then you can start carefully crafting a message that will reconnect the two of you.
Let’s be clear: One single text in itself won’t rekindle the relationship — but it does have the power to get the ball rolling. As a general rule, this text should be relatively short, easy to respond to, and somewhat sentimental. Here are a few ideas for what to say if you want to re-ignite the romance.
One of the easiest and most effective ways to reach out to your ex is to let them know that something makes you think of them. It could be anything, from the restaurant where you had your first date to a TV show they introduced you to. The purpose of this text is to simply to remind them of some positive memories — which will then likely inspire them to start feeling nostalgic as well. A few examples of this are:
“Hey, I just found that copy of Catcher In The Rye you bought me on our third date. Finally got around to finishing it, and you were right — amazing. Remember how appalled you were when you found out I’d never read it?”
“So, I was just walking down Walnut Street and I saw that our favorite ramen place closed down. #Devastated. Made me think about all of those delightful lazy Sundays we got takeout from there.”
Or, you could go the simple but straightforward route. Snap a pic of an object or a place you’re passing by that reminds you of them, and simply add, “look familiar?”
Before long, you’ll both be taking a trip down memory lane — and potentially wondering why you ever ended things in the first place.
One of the best thing you can do in a text to win back your ex is to remind them that you “get” them — you know them better than basically anyone. Let them know about an event or piece of news that you’re confident they’ll be interested in.
For example, you might shoot them a message to notify them that you found out their favorite band will be in town next month, or that a new microbrewery opened up right in their neighborhood. This text shows them that you care about what they’re interested in. Plus, while you’re not outright asking them on a date, if the convo goes well and you do decide to meet up, making plans will be a no-brainer — you can invite them to that concert, brewery, etc.
Pro tip: In order to encourage a reply, don’t just merely relay this info to them. End the text with something along the lines of, “did you hear about that?” That way, they’re more likely to keep the conversation going.
Perhaps you noticed on LinkedIn that they just got promoted, or they posted an Instagram about getting into grad school. Whatever it is, sending your ex a message to compliment or congratulate them on their accomplishment is a great way to re-open the line of communication if you’re hoping to get back together.
A few examples of this kind of message are:
"I saw that you finally played a live gig at that club downtown, that’s so exciting! I know you really missed music. How did it go?"
"Congrats on the career change! I remember you talking about wanting to pursue teaching. When do you start?"
Not only does this type of text show that you’re interested in what they’re up to these days (giving you lots to catch up on), but it also refreshes their memory in terms of how supportive you were as a partner. After all, we all want to be with someone who encourages us to fulfill our dreams, right?
The reality is this: There is no perfect text that is guaranteed to win back your ex’s heart. Still, the right message can inspire an emotional response — it might make them feel excited, loved, intrigued, or perhaps even a combination of all three. At the very least, any of these texts are likely to illicit a response because they show that you care. And more importantly, they give your ex a reason to want to reconnect. As long as you prepare yourself for any possible response (or lack thereof), you’re ready to press “send.” And remember: No matter what happens, you can know that you reached out with dignity, tenderness, and genuine love.
