One of Ariana Grande's greatest flexes was the song (and the album) where she blew a shady, glamorous kiss to her ex, and said, "Thank u, next!" But we're not all Ariana Grande. And not everyone feels so affirmed in their breakup. Sometimes, you'll break up with someone and start thinking, "Damn, did I make the right decision?" Instead, you need to re-route your thoughts and find mantras to recite when you regret your breakup.
Post-breakup saltiness and doubt can bubble up from a number of places. Maybe you're still in love your ex, as frustrating as dating them might actually be. Maybe you feel like you two can work through your issues. Maybe you're scared of being alone. Whatever the case may be — whether you and your ex get back together or not — you need to take care of yourself.
After a relationship ends, self-care can include taking yourself out on a date, getting your nails slayed, drinking bougie cocktails, going to therapy, and other cute stuff like that. It also means setting boundaries with your ex, going to bed at a good hour, and daily affirmations in the mirror to remind yourself you're the sh*t. Here are three more reminders you should say to yourself if you catch post-breakup regret creeping in.
One concrete way to cultivate patience and understanding is to ask yourself questions like, "Why did I or my ex think breaking was right move? What were the specific reasons?" Or "Why did my partner do what they did to put a breakup in motion?"
Try to approach both your ex as well as yourself with empathy when healing from your breakup. Even if you regret it, there's some wisdom to be gained in understanding your "why."
Again, even if you're not lit about the end result, that doesn't mean the breakup was completely invalid. In the same vein, that doesn't mean your emotions were (or are) valid, either.
You might feel like you can't trust your judgment when it comes to your feelings, especially if you initiated the breakup and are now kicking yourself. But again, seek to understand your "whys"— even the emotional ones.
And if you're worried you'll make the wrong choice again, know that the more in touch you are with your emotions, the less of a chance there is of that happening.
Instead of focusing on what you've lost, remind yourself of what you've gained. A breakup is the perfect time to explore new interests, travel solo, and feed your creative side. You've got more time to focus on yourself. Your schedule now has more room for reconnecting with homies, volunteering in your community, and going on cute dates with fresh people — literally whatever tickles your fancy.
Whether it's practicing empathy, validating your emotions, or relishing a new lease on life, let these three mantras guide post-breakup: away from regret, toward healing and peace. At the end of the day, your breakup can serve you as a learning experience. And no time spent learning is a time wasted.
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