23 Thoughts That Are Totally Normal To Have After Sex, So Don't Stress
Once you've done your post-sex pee and you're lying in bed, it's common for your mind to start to wander. Whether you just got funky with a Bumble date, that cutie in your Chem lab, your monogamous partner of three years, or the person you've been sleeping with for a few months but have yet to DTR, there are quite a few thoughts that are totally normal to have after sex. From bodily functions to emotional outpours, sex can stir up a lot of stimuli and a lot of internal dialogue.
Before getting it on, hopefully you and your partner(s) discussed contraceptives, STIs, potential triggers, and maybe even kinks you're into. As long as everything is consensual, there's no wrong or right way to have sex. Talking with the people you sleep with about your body and your needs is very important and can be super worthwhile for all parties involved. Whether you've gotten dressed up or down, and you're gleefully resting after having sex, it's common to think about the things that you forgot to ask about, the sexy things that you wish you said, or the moves that you want to try next time (hey-o).
Here are 23 things that often go through my brain after having sex.
1. Testing anxiety.
Hm... when's the last time they got tested? When's the last time I got tested? I should call my gyno/community health center that offers free STI testing.
2. What are we?
Does this mean we're getting married? Is it tacky to wear a flower crown to my wedding?
3. But how?
How did they do that last thing? That was new. I wonder if they learned that from porn.
I peed twice. I better not get another UTI. I swear to God, if I get another UTI then I'm never having sex again.
5. Midnight snack.
I am starving. I wonder if there are still leftovers in the fridge.
6. And chill.
Will I wake them up if I watch Netflix on my computer right now?
7. Work, Work, Work
Wait, I totally meant to respond to that email!
I feel like they have never shared a bed with anyone before. They sleep like a freaking starfish.
9. Wake up!
Did I set my alarm for tomorrow?
10. Shower Power
There are so many fluids in and around my body right now. I need to shower like, yesterday.
11. Green With Envy
Are they out of my league? No, I'm definitely out of their league. No, wait. Maybe we're in the same league?
12. Please no.
I really don't want my pink linen sheets to be sticky.
13. Sleeping Beauty
Can I go home now?
14. Phone Sex
I heard my phone buzz three times while we were having sex. Has an appropriate amount of time passed for me to check it now?
15. Full House
Are my roommates home?
16. Use your voice!
OMG, did their roommates hear me talk dirty?
17. Party of one.
Should I have just stayed home and masturbated?
18. Clean Sheets.
Do I need to change the sheets? When is the last time I changed them? Oh God.
19. Goin' Down
20. Bottoms up!
Wow, that took so long. Did that take too long?
21. Speed Racer
WTF, is it me or did that take like two seconds.
22. Bills, Bills
Ah. My loan payments are due tomorrow.
Did they really put on Brian Eno and a space documentary to 'set the mood'?
Of course, anything you're feeling after sex is totally valid. Regardless of anything you're thinking (or overthinking), everything is going to be OK. You are, and were, a total rockstar. And if something's really on your mind, try bringing it up directly with your partner. Whether you're a big pillow-talker, or a big pillow-thinker, your sex life is all about what serves you both best, and makes you the happiest.