You don’t have to be an introvert or a homebody to enjoy the delights of an empty house. Solitude can be a gift, especially when you're horny. Whether you're inviting your FWB over for a little afternoon delight, or teasing your partner with a nude in the kitchen, the sexts you send when you’re home alone should lean into the fact that you have free reign over your space. For example, if you're horny and no one's home, drop hints by telling your partner you want to get freaky on the couch or out in the yard.
If you just want some help masturbating, tell your partner what devious acts you could get up to in the kitchen, on your terrace, or in your backyard if they were there with you. And, of course, make sure you know when your roommates are coming home. Nothing screams "buzzkill" more than hearing your parents' or your bestie's key turn in the door when you're mid-orgasm. Maybe keep a robe, or some sweats and a t-shirt nearby in case your exhibitionist streak goes south. With a contingency plan in place and your partner's consent to sext, you're ready to comfortably get frisky with these hot, home-alone texts.
If your loneliness is killing you — cue Britney Spears — work your way up to that thrilling "come thru" text with the following sexts.
1. What would you do to me if you were here right now?
2. I really wish we were cuddling naked on the couch right now.
3. I can’t wait for you to come over and eat me out on the kitchen counter.
4. I wish that I didn't have to shower and dry off alone.
5. I’m sad I’m here alone instead of kissing you.
6. I may be baking some treats right now, but they're not the dessert I want to eat.
7. It sucks that I’m in this big house all alone and horny, with no one to keep me company...
8. In the mood to be bent over the kitchen table. You in?
Think of it as the most tantalizing form of digital foreplay.
Rile your partner up by asking them to imagine what you're doing with your newfound alone time.
9. What would you say if I told you I’m touching myself?
10. I’m really getting wet / hard thinking about you.
11. Just here, on my couch, thinking about the last time we hooked up.
12. I was on the terrace reading and then I got distracted wondering if I could get away with touching myself out here.
13. Triple-dog-dare me to masturbate in the backyard? No one's home.
14. TBH, I’m just eating lunch right now, but all I can think about is how good you taste.
15. Currently in the bath and wondering: When’s the last time you touched yourself? I'm touching myself right now.
16. I’m in the living room reliving the hot dream I had about you last night. Want to hear about it?
17. It’s such a shame that you can’t hear how loud I’m being right now.
No matter how you slice it, you and your partner both win. Your prize: enjoying your alone time at home to its full, freaky potential. Your partner’s prize: titillation at the thought of you being home alone, and maybe even a thrilling invitation to come over. You’ll both be glued to your phones wondering what — or who — comes next.
