Some of the signs indicating that you might have a cheating partner on your hands are obvious. Others, not so much. Twitter user @CheerleaderTagz recently got the hashtag #CluesTheyAreCheating trending, and people were more than eager to share their insight into how to catch an unfaithful SO. So what are some clues your partner is cheating? As relationship writer and dating expert Demetrius Figueroa previously told Elite Daily, "A cheater will rarely, if ever, admit to cheating without proof." If you have some suspicions, it's helpful to recognize both the obvious and not-so-obvious indications.
Many Twitter users pointed to suspicious phone behavior as a possibly indicator of infidelity. Others suggested a partner who has a sudden change in schedule or routine may be stepping out on you. Figueroa stressed that it's important to note these signs when you approach your SO with your suspicions. "If you want an honest answer, the best way might be to build a case that they're cheating, present it to them, and ask for an honest answer," he explained. You may have a gut feeling that your partner has been seeing someone else behind your back, but before you confront them, you may want to keep an eye out for some of these very telling behaviors.
One of the most obvious signs that your partner is two-timing you: They're suddenly very private when it comes to their phone activity. A message from their side piece may come at any time, after all, so if it seems like your partner has something to hide from you, they just might. According to Figueroa, if your partner "seems to avoid talking or texting on their phone near you, especially if they go as far as entering a different room to check their phone," then you might have reason to be wary, and these Twitter users agree.
There's nothing wrong with self-improvement, but if your partner inexplicably dedicates themselves to losing weight, changing up their wardrobe, improving their stamina, and keeping their nether regions groomed all at once, they may not be working on themselves solely to impress you. Twitter users suggested that an SO who's suddenly more fit, more confident, and more daring in bed may be trying to make more of an effort with your relationship — or may just be making all this effort for someone else.
Another indicator Twitter users pointed out was that a unfaithful partner may disappear without warning or make lame excuses about where they've been. If you're having a hard time accounting for your partner or getting a hold of them while they're away, this could be a red flag. As Figueroa pointed out, if your partner is reluctant to tell you "where they've been, who they were with, why they were busy, or anything else like that," you are entitled to keep your guard up. A faithful SO shouldn't have any reason to hide what they're up to, after all.
Unless a cheating partner is entirely without empathy, chances are their unfaithful behavior is going to produce some guilt. To assuage that guilt, that partner may go to great lengths to distance themselves from you, whether that means avoiding your texts, avoiding your gaze, or even avoiding you all together. "Everyone gets busy at work from time to time, but if they're always busy 'with work' on Friday nights and Saturday nights, and those used to be your date nights, that should raise your concern," Figueroa said, as you may just have a partner who's too guilty to face you.
Figueroa stressed that it's important to "build a case" before confronting a suspicious partner for precisely this reason: If you don't have any evidence to present to your partner, they have plausible deniability. Of course, vehemently denying any wrongdoing can be a warning sign in itself. A partner who's cheating may tell you the clues you're seeing are all in your head. They may even use reverse psychology to make you believe that you're actually the guilty party, and that's why you're making all these claims. (Gaslighting 101, y'all.)
If many of these clues seem to apply to your SO, your next step should be to calmly instigate a conversation presenting your evidence. "The first step is to address things openly, without accusations," Figueroa explained. Rather than saying, "You're cheating," trying opening with, "Your behavior has been strange lately for the following reasons." Give your SO a chance to explain. Perhaps your suspicions truly are all in your head. But if you keep catching a partner in lies, it may be time to consider whether your relationship is worth continuing.
