I like to blame the deficit of serious romantic relationships in my life on the surplus of deeply rooted, extremely close-knit, ride-or-die best friendships.
I've never felt that deep strong need for a boyfriend because I have some FANTASTIC friends who honestly give me all that support that I hear some people get from their boyfriends.
I would even go so far as to say that, sometimes, having my unreal best friendships has been even BETTER than having a boyfriend.
Right now, I'm texting my best friend Annie -- just as I do every day, and just as I've done every day since I was 11 years old. I'm 22 now.
So, yeah: We have been in constant communication (whether by texting, talking on the landline phone, being attached at the hip from middle school through high school) for 11 solid years.
I think she's in a meeting or something, so I've been compulsively texting her my nonstop stream-of-consciousness thoughts for an hour straight. Let's just say our ratio is NOT ideal. I look like a clingy psychopath. Also, I do this every time she's in a meeting and I'm bored. Also, she lives in Chicago and I live in Manhattan.
We haven't lived in the same state since we were in college and probably won't live in the same state again for the rest of our lives. When we're together, we argue like an old married couple, and there was a solid year of high school when we basically hated each other. If we were a couple, I have no doubt we'd be broken up by now.
But no -- our relationship is stronger than a romantic relationship. We have a best friendship. It will last through big fights and weird text ratios and long-distance and everything else.
Here are 23 times your BFF was better than a boyfriend.
1. When she didn't care what you ordered at dinner
Your best friend won't judge you if you order a garden salad because you're on a diet or a quadruple cheeseburger that gets all over your face. Because you know what? GIRL'S GOTTA EAT.
2. When she reassured you that you're pretty and she meant it
She's not saying it because she wants to f*ck you. No, she just honestly thinks you look pretty right now.
3. When she said she liked your outfit and you knew she really meant it
She didn't just say she liked it because she was sick of seeing you try on outfits and wanted to f*cking LEAVE. No -- she really approved of it, and her approval means something.
4. When you went through a rough patch and she didn't break up with you
When you and your boyfriend hit a rough patch, it's a BIG deal. It usually means you're headed toward a break-up. When you and your best friend hit a rough patch, you build a bridge and get over it.
5. When she felt your feelings with more depth than you did
Anyone with a real ride-or-die best friend has felt this feeling when you see your bestie hurting. That feeling of empathy so deeply rooted that you wonder if it really is possible for you to be hurting even more than she is.
6. When she criticized your outfit and it wasn't offensive
There's just a difference between your best friend telling you your outfit is weird and manly and your boyfriend telling you the same thing. SHE isn't obligated to spend always and forever seeing you as a flawless sex goddess.
7. When she appreciated your sense of style
She didn't mean your outfit is “hot.” She doesn't care how your tits and ass look (although she'll be sure to tell you when they DO look great). No, she actually appreciates fashion and knows you are wearing a cool-as-f*ck outfit.
8. When she was there for you in sickness and in health
Like when she held your hair back while you puked through that brutal stomach flu and you would have rather killed yourself than have your boyfriend see you looking (and smelling) like that.
9. When she let you talk mad sh*t without making you feel like a petty b*tch
Sometimes I just want to B*TCH. I know I'm being petty and ridiculous, and I really know this isn't the best version of myself. But it's there, and sometimes it just needs to come out. While a boyfriend might find this off-putting, a best friend accepts it and lets me vent.
10. When she embraced your crazy...
...and not because she thought your crazy outside of the bedroom would translate to the bedroom. No, she's not boning you, and she's still willing to drive the car to egg your ex's house.
11. When she called you out for being crazy
HE calls you crazy and it's offensive and has potential to make you even more crazy. SHE calls you crazy, and you're like, “Oh, wait a minute, I was being psycho … she's right.”
12. When she asked if you were on your period and it wasn't the rudest thing ever
Because, you know, she also menstruates.
13. When she knew exactly when to lie to you
A lie from a boyfriend is usually sign of him being a treasonous cheater. A lie from your best friend is usually more of a well-thought-out “No, you look fine” when you do not at all look fine. But you're already out for the night, and there's honestly not much you can do about it.
14. When she remembered your romantic history and helped to make sure history didn't repeat itself
Your boyfriend will never know the depths of every romantic encounter you've ever had. And that's probably for the best. But your best friend remembers it ALL, because you know what? She lived through it right there with you. She was there for all the heartbreak and for all of the joy. So when it comes to making sound decisions in the future, she's GOT YOU.
15. When she knew all of your weird body things
Like when you say you're “not feeling well” and your boyfriend doesn't get it, but she's like, “OMG, you idiot, of course you have diarrhea right now … you KNOW you can't have milkshakes at lunch.”
16. When she didn't judge you for looking like dog sh*t.
You wake up the morning after a particularly wild night out with your boyfriend, and he wonders how the hot piece of ass he brought home last night turned into this horrific-looking creature. Your best friend doesn't even notice what you look like; she just wants someone to go get bagels with her.
17. When she let you go a little BUCKWILD and didn't pass judgment
You can dance on all the tables you want, and she'll still see you as girlfriend material.
18. When she was down to do girly sh*t with you
Getting mani-pedis, watching a rom-com and hitting up that new wine and chocolate bar with all the cute pink accents might be a tough sell for your boyfriend. But your best friend is DOWN for this fabulous day of pampering.
19. When she let you poop with the door open
Because she understood that you do, in fact, poop.
20. When she forgot to text you back and you knew she wasn't trying to slow-fade you
When your boyfriend starts acting a little distant, it's cause for alarm. OMG, did I do something wrong? Is this over?! WHAT CHANGED? When best friend acts distant, you continue to text her until she responds. (You also maybe show up at her front door to make sure she's alive; even then, she doesn't think you're a psychopath.)
21. When she didn't let being long-distance ruin your relationship
Long-distance relationships are hard -- mostly because of sex. Sex is a big part of a relationship, and when you go long-distance, you suddenly can't have any. But your best friend doesn't have sex with you. Doing long-distance with her isn't easy, but it's doable.
22. When she let you be your worst self
In a relationship -- especially the beginning stages -- you feel the need to put your “best self” forward. But what the f*ck are you supposed to do with your worst self?! Well, my friend, you can save her for your BFF, who loves all your selves just the same.
23. When she proved that she's always been there and always will be there
Through thick and thin and everywhere in-between, she's been there. And probably will be forever. BFFFAEAE.
TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS: When was a time your superstar best friend outperformed your boyfriend? Do we really even need boyfriends anyway? Do you think I'm pretty? (Just kidding -- my best friend already told me I am.)