We all start out pretty normal when first dating a new guy.
Your heart flutters when that hotline blings and your hand seems out of place when it's not in his. Not to mention, you pepper each other's faces in sweet kisses at every waking moment.
At that stage, few of us think about his ex-girlfriend's posts on Instagram or feel the urge to vandalize his car. That is, until a case of the "crazies" set in.
For all of you rolling your eyes, cut it out. All women are irrationally emotional at times. We're not crazy, but sometimes we act like it. Then again, men make us that way, right?
I, for one, tend to live inside my head too much, overthinking his every gesture and ruining that cocoon of happiness.
There are levels to the insanity, though.
Be honest with yourself: Are you psycho or just emotional?
Level 1: The rant to friends.
You're constantly spilling his every move to your girl squad.
Whether he's ignoring your text or going on some boys' trip without telling you, your banter is typical girl-to-girl stuff. It doesn't warrant red flags.
Level 2: The angry drunk text.
We've all been there. You have too many glasses of wine and suddenly your fingers are firing off a series of drunken texts to your guy.
Normally, this is harmless. If you find yourself e-screaming about how he won't let you meet his mom, however, you may have moved on to Level 3 crazy.
Level 3: The “accidental” butt dial.
Faking a text can be harmless, but faking a phone call is borderline nutty. Still, that doesn't stop you from putting on an Academy Award-winning dramatic scene.
Though he may see through your "oops, I didn't mean to call" bullsh*t, he'll probably let you slide.
Level 4: The social media stalk.
Browsing through his social media isn't that big a deal, as long as you're stealthy about it.
Don't accidentally like a pic or respond to the girl who left heart eyes under his pic. You may need your friends to pull you off the social media spiral you're falling into.
Level 5: The archival dig.
Congrats! You're officially a level 5 clinger.
When you swept through his Instagram to see if he was actually at the house party he said he was going to, we let it slide.
Now, you're delving into his LiveJournal and reading his old Zanga page. Thanks to your fragile emotions, you're beginning to lose touch with what's sane.
Level 6: The plot to get attention.
Purposefully making your man jealous is child's play.
You've gone crazy to such a degree that you're entirely invested in awakening his inner green-eyed monster. You pose suggestively with your guy friends and flirt with your ex on Twitter, solely to piss off your new boo.
Level 7: The ex-girlfriend obsession.
You've tapped into your inner "Single White Female" and set your sights onto his ex-girlfriend. Though you're adamant that she's ugly and disgusting, you lowkey want to be her.
Not only are you grilling your new boo about his past relationship, you've had your BFF add his ex on Facebook for a closer peek into her life.
Level 8: The family phone call.
You've stopped allowing him to live like a normal human being who sh*ts and sleeps without your assistance. He can't even take a shower without you wondering where he is or what he's doing.
If he doesn't respond to your text quickly enough, you have no problem calling his mom, dad or brother to hunt him down.
Level 9: The pop-up at work.
Showing up unannounced anywhere is crazy, but you're a special version of Gogo Yubari if you pop up to your man's job.
Sure, in a new dating situation, there's room for random romance and cute surprises. However, showing up to his workplace, especially with an axe to grind, means you're plain old batty.
Level 10: The straight-up restraining order.
You've gone full blown "Gone Girl" on this dude. At this point, he's already tried to cut you off because he doesn't want to end up like Nick Dunne.
If he doesn't have an order of protection against you already, it'll arrive in no time.