Losing Old Friends And How To Meet New Ones In Your 20s


I turned 26 two weeks ago, and this is the age where I'm probably starting to lose my childhood friends.

Childhood friends are the best people in the world. Who else were you going to go egging with on Halloween? Who dared you to drink that smoothie? And who admitted to what we actually put in that smoothie?

Adolescence molds who you'll eventually become. That's why, as you age, growing apart from the people is difficult. It feels like you're abandoning memories from your past.

I work in the city I grew up in, so there are a handful of people here I'll always be close with. In the back of my mind, I have a group of soulmates I want at my wedding. But it's hard to keep in touch with friends you grew up with because growing up usually gets in the way.

Think about it like this: Imagine if you wore the same pair of pants every week, and every week they fit like a glove. You have no problem with these pants. They fit well, they've faded only a little bit, and, best of all, the crotch doesn't ride up too tight. These pants are just right.

Until one week, as you reach for your car keys, you feel a pop and tear from in between your legs. And boom, you have to buy new pants.

Your mid-twenties are typically far enough away from high school and college to take an honest assessment of your life and, occasionally, try on new pants. The older you get, the more interests you'll have, and you'll naturally be interested in more people.

If I tried to only meet people on the basis of what I liked in middle school, I'd be at a lot of yo-yo and Razor scooter collectives. I would only talk to people with pointed opinions on Dexter's Lab and AIM screen names. Thankfully, I've graduated to talking about "Atlanta."

Mid-twenties seems like a time to lose childhood friends because you should be fully supplanted in adulthood. Friends enter and exit your life for various reasons.

Sometimes you'll grow apart because of a mistake one of your made. If you made the mistake, the best thing you can do is apologize and try to be a better person. If that friend is apologizing to you, the best you can do is respond and acknowledge the their apology.

Then you can either punch them in the face or not punch them in the face.

Also, if we're going to look at this creatively, we can certainly loosen the definition of "childhood." If you are a son or daughter, then you are and will continue to be your parents' child. For instance, Donald J. Trump Jr., at 38, is the child of Donald J. Trump. Any friends he makes during this presidency will be childhood friends.

If you're simply childish, even in your seventies, and continue to make friends, then you are making childhood friends. If you consider yourself a child of the mountains and become friendly with a group of mountain goats, then you are making childhood friends.

So it's important to see this as a two-way street. Just be friendly, basically.

LeBron won two championships after leaving Cleveland. Then he came back and won another one. I'm sure he has friends in both places.