The Sad, True Story Behind Taylor Swift's "Ruin The Friendship"
“Abigail called me with the bad news.”
There’s a heartbreaking twist hidden in The Life of a Showgirl. When the album’s tracklist was revealed, the predominant theory was that the song “Ruin the Friendship” would be a fiery diatribe about Taylor Swift’s rumored falling-out with Blake Lively. But that wound up being so far from the truth. Instead, the tragic tune tells the true story of Swift’s high school crush, who died early in Swift’s career.
In the first couple verses of “Ruin the Friendship,” Swift describes growing close with a good friend, who she’s suppressing her romantic feelings for due to his girlfriend. The first hint that the song is about a real person from Swift’s past comes when she mentions geographical specifics that set the scene in Hendersonville, Tennessee, where Swift attended high school: “You drive eighty-five / Gallatin Road and the Lakeside Beach.”
In the second verse, Swift describes making eyes at her crush while at prom, and then reminisces about trying to not make things “awkward” in a second period class with him.
As is the norm for Swift, it’s the bridge that fully illuminates who the song is about: “When I left school, I lost track of you / Abigail called me with the bad news / Goodbye, and we'll never know why.”
The lyrics make it clear Swift is singing about her old high school friend Jeff Lang, who died in 2010 just two years after high school. Later in the song, she describes visiting his grave, referencing when she attended Lang’s funeral 15 years ago.
Swift spoke about the profound effect Lang’s funeral had on her during a speech at the 2010 BMI Country Awards. “Yesterday I sang at the funeral of one of my best friends, and he was 21,” Swift said at the time. “And I used to play my songs for him first. So I would like to thank Jeff Lang.”
Lang is also strongly believed to have been the inspiration for Swift’s song “Forever Winter,” which she released in 2021 as one of her Red (Taylor’s Version) vault tracks. On that track, Swift laments an old friend she didn’t realize was dealing with serious struggles: “All this time I didn't know / You were breakin' down / I'd fall to pieces on the floor / If you weren't around / Too young to know it gets better / I'll be summer sun for you forever / Forever winter if you go.”
Still, all these years later, Lang continues to inspire Swift.
