We get it and we're happy for you, K? Now please be less gorgeous and amazing at romance because you're making all our moms worry we'll die alone.
They've posed together. They've pillow-talked together. Zayn has even tattooed himself for Gigi and, now, at the peak of Mount Baeington, the former One Direction singer nabbed himself a keychain with his lover's name on it.
You know, like moms do for their kids.
Zayn strolled around the currently grey, windy, soulless streets of New York City on Tuesday clutching a big, fat, giant Gigi keychain, in case the new LOVE tattoo across his knuckles wasn't explicit enough.
Though the pair aren't engaged, Gigi was spotted wearing a shiny band that threw fans and media into a goddamn tailspin of wild assumptions.
Earlier in January, Geeg posted a birthday tribute to her boy on Instagram in which, at first glance, appears to be addressed to "my husband" (it's not).
happy birthday my handsome! so lucky to know and love a soul like yours wishing you the best year ever!!!
So close. So, so close. It's for the best Gigi and Zayn are taking their time getting to know one another rather than rushing down the aisle while they're still perfectly hot.
Who knows what the years will bring? Zayn could progressively get less and less famous until he no longer meets the requirements outlined in the unity contract drafted for Zigi by Kris Jenner herself.
The future is uncertain, but true love is also uncertain. Nothing is certain. The world smolders around us and there's nothing we can do to save it, just like the dinosaurs.