3 Important Things To Remember When You Feel Like Your Relationship Won't Make It

by Alison Segel
Kayla Snell/Stocksy

Yes, the rumor is definitely true: Relationships can be difficult. It's weird. Sometimes, you feel like you've met the person of your dreams, and then other times, you can stare at the exact same person across the table and want to plot their murder.

How do I love this person? They are literally the worst.

When you feel like you are on the verge of a breakup, or you're starting to ask yourself, "What if my relationship ends?" it can seem demoralizing. When the person who was once your everything feels like they could become your nothing at any moment, it shakes up your entire world.

So here are some important things to remind yourself when you just can't shake feeling like your relationship won't last.

1. Everything Is For A Lesson Or A Lifetime

Not every relationship works out. In fact, most of them won't. So it's important to remind yourself that everything is either for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Sometimes, people come into your life to teach you a lesson. Those relationships might involve the kind of heartbreak that results in life-altering change and some serious introspection on your part. As sucky as it feels at the time, your worst relationships can end up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

Of course, other people or relationships find their way to you for a season, and they're gone soon after. And then, there are the lifetime people, who stick around forever.

Either way, relationships won't work if we force them. Remind yourself to let go, and accept the purpose that your partner has in your life, even if that may not be what you want it to be.

2. All Relationships Have Ups And Downs

Relationships involve two living (hopefully), human beings who are going through ups and downs in their personal lives. So of course, your relationship is going to go through ups and downs, too, as a result.

If your partner is having a bad time at work, they might take that home with them If you're going through problems with your family, you could take that out on your partner.

People have good and bad days, and so will your love life. The important thing to remember is not to take it personally. As long as the good days outweigh the bad (and you have good conflict resolution skills for when things get rough), then you'll be good to go.

3. There Are Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

And you'll be fine alone, too.

A relationship isn't going to be what saves you. You were fine before you met your partner, you are fine now, and you will be fine afterward if you break up.

Remind yourself that if your relationship doesn't work out for some reason, you'll be fine regardless. And if you think you can't survive without your partner, then you may have some work to do yourself in the self-esteem and confidence department. If your hunch is right, and your relationship doesn't make it, that doesn't mean you failed or lost your soulmate. That just means you haven't found your soulmate yet — if soulmates are even a thing.

What I'm saying is this: If you have a healthy relationship with yourself, then no matter what is going on with your significant other, you will always be OK in the end.

If you find yourself doubting your relationship, remember, it's normal. All romances have a natural ebb and flow. What matters is that the good outweighs the bad and that you accept the purpose your relationship has in your life.

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