You guys, if there's something I love more than pizza, literally any other food, sleeping for extended periods of time, and being right all the time, it's being bisexual. Seriously, it's the best thing ever. Want to know why? Well, aside from confidently knowing that bisexuality is a totally real, valid, and awesome identity, from knowing that I, a raging bisexual, actually exist, despite what a lot of people try to tell me, and from knowing that I get to love and be attracted to two genders of dope humans, these tweets about being bisexual also make bisexuality the best thing ever. Because they're hilarious. And I like laughing at funny things because I'm not a monster.
Want to know another really great thing about bisexuality? Sept. 23 is apparently International Celebrate Bisexuality Day. Wow. What a day. I mean, I already celebrate my bisexuality every damn day on my own, but maybe since there's a whole day dedicated to celebrating an amazing identity, I can go a day without people telling me to "put the wine bottle down" and to "stop yelling about bisexuality so much because it's 2 a.m. and people are trying to sleep." Ugh, whatever.
Anyway, here are a bunch of tweets about bisexuality, being bisexual, bi culture, and literally all other things being bi that will absolutely make you want to stand on top of a mountain, smash a beer can into your forehead, and scream, "I LOVE BEING BISEXUAL!" Or, you know, however else you wanna celebrate...
Also accurate. We bisexuals have the lowest possible bullsh*t threshold.
*One decently attractive dude walks by* GOD DAMN IT, I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH THIS.
Pink? Blue? Purple? Unicorn? I should cut it short, right? Nah, I'm gonna keep it long and only get a few natural highlights. LOL, JK. Getting bangs.
Literally, I just have to lock myself in a room, I guess, because TV characters won't let me live.
Bisexuals: We know what we like.
"She's so cool and smart and funny and pretty, and I only think about making out with her because I secretly want her face." — A statement I genuinely believed was logical growing up.
Please, continue serving my bi-ass life to me on a silver platter in 140 characters or less. Thank you.
Attention: Pausing your regularly scheduled funny tweets to let everyone know that bisexuality can be different for different people.
Bi update: It's not just today. I'm just a generally loud bisexual.
TBH, The Sims was very informative in my bisexual youth.
Blessed be the fruit of my bisexual ass.
THIS TWEET JUST HIT ME IN THE FACE.
I am amazing. Thank you for your time.
I love being on the winning team.
Damn, this is real.
Where. Is. The. Damn. Lie?
Wow, I feel so rejuvenated. I love being bi.
This International Celebrate Bisexuality Day, make sure you go out and celebrate all your bisexual friends and loved ones. Give 'em a hug, if they're into that sort of thing. Buy 'em a drink. Yell about how great bisexuality is with them, because odds are, they're already doing it when they're alone, and the more, the merrier.
And if you're a raging bisexual like me, or a non-raging one, rest assured that you're 100 percent on a winning team. Any team in the LGBTQ+ community is winning. We're all winning.
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