So out of nowhere, just when things seemed to be going well, you were ghosted. Wondering if the person who ghosted you will come back? It's possible. My theory on people who have dumped you is that they always force themselves back into your life eventually, right?
So yeah, that person who ghosted you — they will come back. And there are several ways they will try to go about it. They might send you a present in the mail, ask mutual friends about you, or — the most popular — keep tabs on you online.
In my humble opinion, someone who continues to like your social media still has an interest in how you are and what you're doing, and most importantly, they're probably liking those selfies you put up because they still find you attractive. Don't be surprised if you get a text from an ex who ghosted you after you post a thirst trap. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.
But social media isn't the only sign that a ghoster might be coming back into your life.
Fran Greene, LCSW, The Flirting, Dating, and Relationship Coach, and author of Dating Again with Courage and Confidence and The Flirting Bible, told me the four signs that the person who ghosted you might actually come back. But do you want to let them?
1. They Ask Your Mutual Friends About You
I once matched with a guy on Bumble, and then, he ghosted me before we ever went on a date. Then, a few weeks later, he started asking our mutual friend if he made a big mistake by not pursuing me. He even went so far as to tell my friend I looked like I would be a good kisser.
Would she even know if I was a good kisser? She wouldn't. But clearly, this guy who ghosted me was trying to revive our dead relationship, which had never even started in the first place.
"No matter how insignificant the question is, it's a definite sign that you're on his radar, and don't be surprised if you hear from him," says Greene. Now, it's just your decision whether or not it's your turn to do the ghosting.
2. They Give You An Unexpected Gift
My ex-boyfriend from three years ago just sent me one dollar on Venmo. Does that count?
"Out of the blue you get flowers, a book that you said you wanted to read, or the jar of your favorite organic almond butter," Greene explains. "This guy is crawling back to you and hopes you will give him the time of day. If you want to see him again, say something like, 'Aww that was so sweet of you, it would be great to reconnect.'"
While I don't think I'm going to take back Venmo guy, it's totally up to you if you want to even consider giving the person who ghosted you a second chance.
3. They Send You An Apologetic Text
Greene says that this type of ghoster will "send you a text that ... might look like this: 'I've been thinking about you,' 'You've been on my mind,' 'Sorry for disappearing on you,' or 'I'd like to explain why I stopped calling you.'"
If the person who ghosted you texts you looking for redemption, you might consider hearing them out. Maybe they had a reason for not being available the first time around, or they want to justify and apologize for their actions. If you think the door isn't closed on this relationship yet, give it another chance.
But if you're totally sick of their bullsh*t and done playing games, then it's time to ghost them right back.
4. They Call You And Actually Leave You A Message
In this day and age, is there anything scarier than a voicemail? Seriously, they could actually make a whole horror movie about them. But the one thing scarier than getting an actual phone call from someone is getting an actual phone call from someone who ghosted you.
Green explains, "As archaic as this sounds, [if] Mr. Ghoster 'picks' up the phone, calls you, and leaves you a message that says, 'I'm sorry, can we talk?' this guy DEFINITELY is coming back if you let him."
Calling someone on the phone does require a certain amount of effort and courage (the bar is set pretty low these days), so if a person is picking up the phone after ghosting you, they are probably humbling themselves a little bit.
But before you reconnect, make sure their reason for reaching out is authentic and pure. Are they just bored? Are they on a long drive and need someone to talk to so they don't fall asleep? Have all of their other options faded out, and now, they're looking to reconnect with you?
Before you let that person who ghosted you back into your life, make sure they're worth it. When a person is crazy about you, they don't ghost. And you deserve someone who thinks the world of you, right?
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