Relationships

This Girl's Boyfriend Used Her Nipple Clamps To Save Her Cheetos Because He's Resourceful AF

by Candice Jalili
Shutterstock

Yes, sex toys are primarily created with the intention of being used in sexual situations, but that does not mean you are required by law to only use them in a sexual way. No, in fact, they can actually have lots of different uses that are totally non-sexual. A vibrator could be used as a back or neck massager. A dildo could be used as a cool-looking paperweight. Finally, apparently, nipple clamps could also serve as clips to keep your Cheeto bag closed. I say this because 19-year-old Michelle Kairu's boyfriend used her nipple clamps to keep her bag of Hot Cheetos fresh, and it's literally the most genius thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

I know the initial thought here is "Ew! Nipple clamps are a sex toy, and I EAT Cheetos." But bare with me here for a second. Nipple clamps are essentially just a clip, not unlike the clips your mom got from Trader Joe's to keep your Cheese Puffs fresh as a kid. So when you don't have those clips lying around your apartment because you're not a middle-aged mom and are, instead, a young woman who still has some fun in her life — nipple clamps and all — why not just use your nipple clamps to keep your snacks fresh?

LOOK HOW WELL THEY WORK.

And just when you thought it literally could not get any better, Michelle hit us with another way to use the contraption her boyfriend created.

Yep, that's right. It can also be used as a purse. Suddenly, your nipple clamps aren't just a fun toy to help you get off; they're now the most functional product you have ever purchased in your entire life — a fun toy to help you get off, a useful kitchen tool to keep your favorite snacks fresh, AND a necessary component of your favorite new accessories. GIVES YOU ORGASMS,  KEEPS YOUR SNACKS FRESH, AAAAAAAND MAKES YOU MORE FASHIONABLE? WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR? Literally nothing. You've peaked.

Apparently, in addition to being a total innovator, Michelle's boyfriend is also a really sweet dude who actually goes out of his way to surprise her with yummy snacks every time she comes over to hang out with him. Michelle told Cosmo, "I went over to my boyfriend's place after work and he always surprises me with different snacks. That night they just happened to be Hot Cheetos, so that's how those came into the picture."

As any self-respecting person would do upon receiving a surprise bag of Cheetos from her boyfriend, Michelle started eating the spicy, cheesy, delicious goodies. But, in the most tragic news ever, she had to go home before she was able to finish them. And that's how the nipple clamps came into play. You see, Michelle keeps her nipple clamps at his place, so they were right there and readily available for her boyfriend to use to keep her Cheetos nice and fresh.

While most women would have freaked out at their boyfriends coming up with such a contraption, Michelle wasn't too shocked. "My reaction wasn't too big of a thing — I'm used to him always surprising me, honestly," she told Cosmo. "He's something else. I love it."

I mean, look how cute their love is:

And her boyfriend is totally unfazed by his newfound fame:

While lots of people would maybe be shy about the entire world finding out their sexual preference for nipple clamps, Michelle has totally embraced her new identity as "the b*tch wit tha nipple clamps."

In fact, she's honestly confused as to why more of us aren't playing around with her favorite toy.

Now, I don't know if I'm ready to use them as a sexual toy, but honestly, I'm pretty intrigued by this option of using them to keep my chips fresh and maybe make my wardrobe more fashionable.

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