Why Sex On The First Date Is Not A Big Deal
We're adults: It should be as simple as that.
However, a stigma continues to surround the idea of women giving up the goodies after just one night (or day) of personal contact. Young ladies everywhere fear judgement, and they second-guess both themselves and the notion of a potential relationship if they "move too fast."
If we're being honest, a brand of weird, underdeveloped men do exist, and they may pass judgement on a woman if she decides to make such a swift decision with HER body. Hopefully, your instincts steer you clear of those suckers: They're indoctrinated with such a primitive and immature way of thinking.
For the sake of this discussion, I'm assuming you're a well-meaning adult who is attempting to navigate the dating world with other like-minded individuals. For the level-headed adults of the world, sex after just one date shouldn't carry any special type of weight or stigma attached to it.
It's just that: sex. We've all done it before.
On the flip side, there are also many great reasons I can think of to hold out on sex if you are pursuing a relationship. Even as a guy, I actually prefer this route.
But if you choose to go all the way the first day out, it shouldn't matter. You should feel no regret.
Here are five reasons why:
1. Sex does NOT always mean intimacy.
Both of us could just so happen to be craving one thing in the moment, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this.
By all means, get yours.
If both parties have expressed a mutual desire to have sex, follow your human instincts. There shouldn't necessarily be any expectations, other than continued respect and zero judgement.
If this can be communicated, established and agreed upon by both parties, then do what you do. It happens every day.
It does not necessarily mean intimacy.
2. We're adults, so this is a judgement-free zone.
Speaking of zero judgement, this isn't freshman year of college. You don't have to run and tell people how your reputation is “ruined.”
This is between you and the person you're with. We've probably both been here before, so what is there really to discuss with others?
Or better yet, why would one of us think any less of the other person?
3. You see if there's a physical connection.
Sometimes, there is something powerful there, and it's obvious from the start.
Before we even hugged – let alone lay down together – there was a spiritual fusion of sorts. Not only did our dialogue flow smoothly, allowing time to pass without either of us really noticing, but we also dug deep into each other's souls to the point that the physical attraction multiplied.
Now, here it is: It's 1 in the morning, and we're both ready to leave. But we're just not ready to part ways.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with establishing that deep connection after just one night. We've formed such a great bond in so little time, so why not see it through by being physical?
4. There's swift trial and error.
We may form a mental bond, but later in the night, we may find out we're probably not going to be compatible sexually. You may not be the type of freak I am, or maybe I'm just not into all the sadistic shit you are.
At least we found that out without wasting too much of our time and wading too deep into our feelings. However, we could be great friends, with an awesome story to tell in the future.
Conversely, if it's everything we imagined and more, we could be on the right track.
I instinctively know all the right spots, and somehow, someway, you managed to do that thing I like right out of the gate.
An encounter this surreal is rare. So, if we're able to pull this off after just one bout, who knows the heights we can reach in the long run. We're likely in for something beautiful. And we didn't even have to wait months to realize it.
5. It's not a contract.
We've made it to the end of the night. We've connected mentally and physically. The sex was something we'll remember for a while, and you've already bragged about it in your group chat.
But you could wake up tomorrow and hate me: It happens.
Just because we went all the way on the first night, that doesn't mean we're now bound to each other for the long haul. It also doesn't mean this can't be a long-term arrangement. The fact is, you owe me nothing... and vice versa.
It does not mean I've gotten all I wanted from you. Hopefully, there's more to the story than just sex. But if that's not the case, then so be it.
The fact that we hooked up after one night should hold no bearing on the future. The circumstances and the outcome might, but the stand alone fact that it happened shouldn't.
It's your body and your choice. There should be no regrets on either side about what happens or doesn't happen after the first date.
It's no big deal. Really.