Rene de Haan

Independent Women Have Unique Dating Struggles


Dating is hard enough, but it's even harder as an independent woman.

She has a full life, thanks to her great friends and family, awesome job and fulfilling hobbies.

She isn't spending her life trying to find a guy because her life is busy enough without one. But that also doesn't mean she isn't open to dating... and that's where the problem lies.

The independent woman isn't against finding someone in her life, unlike the "forever alone" girl. The only thing is, it's not the center of her world, and that makes guys annoyed.

She can put off a vibe that says she's not taking dating seriously enough, which can end up turning many away.

Here are the six struggles of dating as an independent woman:

1. Guys get super intimidated by you.

It sucks, but it's true: There are a lot of guys out there who can't handle dating someone more successful than they are.

It's so stupid, but this inferiority complex of theirs prevents them from even approaching you in the first place.

You feel like you're constantly looking for someone who'll have enough confidence in himself to realize you're not a threat. Sadly, these types of guys are few and far between.

2. You're constantly torn between wanting company and alone time.

When you're an independent women, you get to relish your time alone.

You love curling up for a cozy night in, watching some Netflix and just being alone with your thoughts. You find solace in your gym routine to help you work your shit out, and curling up with a good book and some wine after a long day seems absolutely PERFECT.

But when you're dating someone you're really into, you kind of want company... and that makes you really confused.

You want to sometimes be taken care of because it's been so long, but you also LOVE the time you get to spend with yourself.

What's a girl to do?

3. You come across as cold.

You don't like to get too clingy because if someone was too clingy with YOU, it would just drive you away.

You want a guy who has his own hobbies and interests, who can challenge you and make you mad, but will also treat you right.

You're very invested in fulfilling your own interests and making sure you're still doing all the things that make you "you." Because of this, you come across as really cold sometimes.

You get annoyed when your guy doesn't see the need for girls' night or working late, and this makes your guy think he isn't important enough for you.

4. You can't find someone who meets your standards.

You're picky. And honestly, why shouldn't you be?

Forever is a long time, and if you're gonna be stuck with someone for that long, you definitely shouldn't settle.

The independent woman has a long list of traits she wants in a boyfriend because that's just the way her life works: She has ambitions when it comes to everything... and yes, that includes love.

Falling for an independent girl means you have to be on your A-game at all times. Sadly, most guys just aren't ready for that kind of pressure.

5. You're genuinely really busy.

You will never forget you had a full life before you met the guy you're seeing, and so, you're always busy.

This makes scheduling date time really hard. You know you have your weekly girls' night every Friday, and you now have to fit in date night somewhere too.

This makes you super stressed because you don't know whether you're making the right call when it comes to balancing all these different facets of your life. Not to mention, you're now always exhausted.

6. You get stuck making all the decisions.

Guys get lazy being around you because you're basically the HBIC.

You know what you want, and you're used to doing everything for yourself. So, guys just continue letting you do that.

You have to keep planning the dates, picking the restaurants and calling the shots when it comes to important things like meeting the other person's family or moving in together. And it's not like you aren't used to this.

But the point of being in a successful relationship is making these decisions TOGETHER. So, tell your man to step up.

Being an independent girl looking for love gets so stressful because you need someone who'll understand both your need for romance and your need for everything else. Finding that guy takes a ton of time, effort and patience, and that makes it tough to stay positive.

But honestly, it's not like you don't have enough to keep yourself busy while you're on the lookout.