If you've think you've found the person you want to commit to forever, you probably feel really excited and happy. That phase in a relationship where you haven't yet totally discussed where you are, but you just know the two of you are secure and in love, is one of the most fun times in a couple's life. But sometimes, constantly wondering “Is he my boyfriend?” or “Is she my girlfriend?” can leave you feeling too stressed to enjoy the fun of falling for your new boo.
Maybe you're someone who needs titles and affirmation to feel secure in a partnership. Maybe the person you're seeing simply isn’t forthcoming with their emotions. Whatever the case, there are signs they want a relationship with you, and if you keep an eye out for them, then you can figure out whether you’re wasting your time on a person who will never commit.
Of course, every relationship is different, and some people will vary in the ways they show affection and commitment. However, if you’re just trying to figure out whether they want a relationship with you, then here are a few telling signs they’re invested (even if they haven’t officially said it yet).
They Make You A Priority
Someone who wants to date you will def make an effort to see you. As dating coach and expert James Preece tells Elite Daily, it's clear when someone is committed because they make you a priority in their life. "If they choose to see you rather than spend time with their friends, you know things are going well," he says. "And if they’re willing to adjust their schedule to fit in time with you, then that's even better. That means they love being with you and feel most comfortable when you are together."
They Introduce You To Family & Friends
Being a part of someone’s life means knowing the people in their life, and if someone introduces you to their family and friends, then that likely means they see a future with you. According to relationship expert and author Susan Winter, meeting your SO’s inner circle is a mark of their commitment. “Though your introduction may be tricky due to certain factors, a committed partner will stand by your side with pride and want you to be a part of their family,” she previously explained to Elite Daily.
They Share Things With You
Getting serious with someone new means getting a little vulnerable, and if someone starts to open up to you, it’s a good sign that you’ve earned their trust. As Shan Boodram, a certified sexologist and ambassador for TENGA sex toys, previously told Elite Daily, you can tell your partner is committed to you if there's an increased degree of vulnerability and sharing. “When you don’t see any progress in the level of responsibility they’re offering to you as a partner, that’s an indicator that they’re not looking for commitment," she said.
They Remember The Little Things
A person who cares will listen, and they’ll remember little details about your life — from childhood anecdotes to how you like your coffee — that someone who wasn’t interested might forget instead. "They’ll know your favorite foods, places, and things, then go out of this way to make sure you get them,” Preece explains. “They do this because they want you to feel happy and secure. It might not be grand gestures, but they’ll surprise you by dropping in little reminders every now and again."
They Refer To You As "We"
A person who’s nestled up comfortably in that committed couple life will likely start referring to you as a "we," even if you’re not totally official yet. Preece says this comes through most clearly when they're talking to those who matter to them. "Pay attention when you hear them talking to family and friends,” he says. “Are they referring to you as a couple? Maybe they’ll say something like, 'We'd love to come,' without even considering an invite might just be for them."
They Make You Feel Welcome In Their Home
It’s one thing to spend the night with a maybe-boyfriend or -girlfriend. It’s another to actually feel welcome there. According to Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, giving you access to their home is sign they’re approaching commitment territory. “You don't need to worry if you show up day or night that someone else is going to be there with them,” she previously told Elite Daily. “Their actions speak loudly and you feel the love.”
They Don't Play Games
Someone who isn't ready for a commitment will use dumb dating tricks and tactics to keep you hanging on, but a person who is ready to be with you won't do any of that. "A genuine, committed person knows what they want and isn't afraid to really go for it," says Preece. "They don’t try to test you and see if they can make you jealous or push your buttons. Instead, they treat you with respect and do everything possible to make you happy. They know what they have and have no intention of losing it!"
They Talk About A Future With You
A person who's not super into commitment will avoid talking about the future at all costs, so if a person naturally talks about your future together, then it's a good sign they're committed. It doesn’t matter if those plans are a month off or several years off — if that person you’re seeing is looking into the future with you, then that means they want you to be a part of it. "If they’re serious about you, they won't be afraid to talk about where things might be headed,” says Preece.
Good news, friends: If these signs sound familiar, then the "what are we" talk might not be too far off.
James Preece, dating coach and expert
Susan Winter, relationship expert and author
Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
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