When you’re crushing hard on someone, social media can provide a slew of perks. Not only are you privy to more pics of the object of your affection, but you’re also exposed to a wealth of useful info about them — and those deets can come in handy when you want to strike up a convo. Best of all, social networks offer a casual, convenient way of getting in touch with someone you like. The problem is you may not know how to DM your crush or what to say, and having some good starter questions is the key to getting off on the right foot.
A question is without a doubt the most effective way to reach out when messaging someone via DM, whether on Instagram, Snapchat, or another platform entirely. After all, a thoughtful question is more likely to encourage your crush to respond than a mere comment or observation, and it also provides a valuable opportunity to get to know them better. But since this may be one of your first social media exchanges, you’ll want to be strategic about your DM conversation starters and what you ask. What platform you’re using could also factor into what you say, because what to DM your crush on Instagram may be different than what you say on TikTok.
As a general rule, the best questions to DM are also short, generally lighthearted, and show your interest to some degree, no matter how subtle. It’s also a good idea to ask open-ended questions whenever possible, as they’ll likely inspire a longer response (and thus potentially spark a deeper conversation) than yes-or-no questions. Still at a loss for words? Fret not — these 25 DM conversation starters are pretty much foolproof for getting the digital sparks flying.
- If you think someone’s cute, is sliding into their DMs too obvious of an approach? (Asking for myself.)
- I could have sworn I saw you at [name of bar, restaurant, or other event/location] last weekend. Was that you, or do you just have a doppelgänger running around?
- I figured if we’re brave enough to double tap each other’s photos, we should be able to DM. Now, real talk: How many attempts did it take to get this perfect shot?
- Did you know that posting pics with pets is a bona fide thirst trap? (You nailed it, BTW.)
- Still LOLing over your story from last night. Can you keep the hilarious posts coming to power me through these #SundayScaries?
- Since we’ve been following each other for a hot minute, do you think it’s time we start DMing? I wanted to share this [post, pic, or TikTok] that made me think of you.
- Here’s the big question: Where are you watching the [sports team’s name] game tomorrow? I feel like having two fans (that’s us) in the same room could be good luck.
- Hey, I noticed you’re really into [hobby/skill] — it just so happens I’ve been getting really into it, too. Would you mind helping me out with [related project]?
- Since you’re a fellow [artist/band name] enthusiast, thought you should know that they’re coming to town. Want to catch them live?
- Looking for a playdate for my lonely pup, are you and yours free this Saturday?
- Dying to check out this new [craft beer, shuffleboard] bar. When are you free to guzzle a few [IPAs, diet cokes] with me?
- That looks delicious! Everyone always says they know the best place for tacos in town, but I think you might actually know. Wanna go there sometime together?
- Is that your mom in that pic? You look so much like her.
- OMG I love [movie they posted about]. Is that your favorite?
- OK, I just have to know... What is your Hogwarts house?
- You have the best taste in music. Who are your top five favorite artists?
- Where did you learn to cook? You always post the best foodie pics.
- I was thinking about going to that restaurant. What’s your favorite thing on the menu?
- Wait, where are you from again? I love [regional food], too!
Don’t be afraid to tweak these questions and make them your own, either. The more you can personalize the question to your crush’s interests, or the nature of your connection, the better. Just remember: Ain’t no shame in your DM-sliding game. You could be just one well-crafted question away from winning over the object of your affection.
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.
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