If you and your crush exchanged Instagram handles before you exchanged phone numbers, you may be wondering: What's the chill way to slide into someone’s DMs? (Warning: This may be the most #millennial question of all time.) Much like Cardi B's rise to Grammy-winning fame, very few predicted Instagram's potential to become a dating tool, in addition to a social networking app. Although the photo-sharing platform has been around since 2010, in recent years, Instagram has become a hotspot for meeting, macking, and of course, direct messaging.
While it's totally natural to get a little nervous before making the first move, dating and relationship coach Celina Bond says that there's no need to stress. Sending someone you like a thoughtful message on Instagram can be just as chill as liking one of their "recents."
"The chill way to slide into someone's DMs is to be observant and curious about who they are as a person and what they share online," Bond tells Elite Daily. "It’s not about you. It’s about getting to know the other person."
If you've got your eye on someone in your feed, Bond shares four expert tips that will have you instantly sliding into your crush's DMs.
Having a big crush on someone can make you want to press fast-forward. While it can feel difficult to be patient when you're falling head over heels, Bond shares the importance of allowing the connection to grow before asking them out IRL.
"Definitely build a rapport before asking someone out," Bond says. "People need to feel comfortable to want to go out with a stranger."
If you already know your crush IRL or you're in the same friend group, asking them to grab coffee or share a ride to something you're both going to can be super mellow. However, if you just met online, messaging for a bit and getting to know each other can establish a base level of comfort before asking them out. While you certainly don't need to be talking all day, asking how their day was or what books they've been reading before directly asking them out may help them feel a little more at ease.
It can be rewarding to build a digital connection with a cutie. However, if you've been messaging for a while with no mention of setting a date, your crush may start to feel more like a pen pal. Additionally, Bond shares that a chill DM can mean being mindful of someone's location and availability.
"So many people message on Instagram, disregarding time and space," Bond says. "Don’t bother starting a convo with someone who lives across the world and get ‘emotionally attached’ from afar."
According to Bond, purpose-driven interactions (i.e., messaging someone knowing that you could feasibly get drinks next week) can be super hot. Maybe your crush is always posting food pictures, or their bio claims they love to hit the town. If so, consider suggesting you both try your favorite taco place or hit up that new nightclub down the street. Set an IRL date that incorporates their URL interests.
If you've got a major Insta crush and you're thinking about the best way to make a move, Bond suggests being patient and working to build a stronger connection. Establishing a good rapport before asking someone out can help make them feel more comfortable. Of course, being confident and feelin' yourself are key to sending a chill DM. You are smart and strong, and you have so much to offer anyone you date — in the DMs and real-life.
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