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Am I Bad At Sex? 4 General Tips To Having A Better Time In Bed

Whether it was because of a douchey comment made by the guy you hooked up with last weekend (although be wary of remarks uttered from the mouths of f*ckboys), or a lack of enthusiasm from a long-term partner, we have all had one of the scariest thoughts a woman can have: Am I bad at sex?

First off, it's kind of tough to make general statements about sexual prowess because there are so many vastly different styles of intimacy. What one person loves, the next might absolutely hate and visa versa. That being said, no one wants to feel like they are completely missing the mark when it comes to getting down and dirty.

There are a few easy ways you can ensure you are keeping things at their maximum spiciness in bed. And although I can't promise you'll be able to twerk like a video goddess overnight, there's absolutely no reason you can't boost both your confidence and overall experience in the bedroom. Even if you are totally satisfied with your life between the sheets, that doesn't mean you still shouldn't take your bump and grind to the next level. Here's how.

1. Stop Worrying About How You Look

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I know what you're thinking, ladies. How can you not think about your body when that's literally what the entire situation is about? Yeah, sometimes you're gonna find yourself in some seriously weird, not-so-flattering angles. But the good news is, if you're having sex with someone, then clearly you've passed each other's attractiveness test, so it's safe to say this person thinks you're hot!

And truth be told, the large majority of men really couldn't care less about a roll here and there.

2. Focus On Quality Versus Quantity

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OK, so who doesn't want to be having tons of great sex? I'm assuming not many of you. Sometimes, though, it's better to focus on taking your time and having a really satisfying sexual encounter rather than trying to fill a quota.

If you're in a committed relationship, this might mean not having quite as much sex, but slowing down the sex you are having so you both walk away feelin' good. If you're a single lady, then this could mean finding yourself a friend with benefits-type situation for consistency and then sampling whatever else strikes your fancy as they come.

3. Don't Be Afraid To Ask For What You Want

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Life's short, ladies. Way too short not to take charge of your own pleasure. It's been said many times before, but it's worth saying again: If there's one thing people are not, it is mind readers. I totally get that it can feel unsexy to have to break it down like an Ikea manual, but the truth is, some people need it. And think of it this way: The sooner you voice your needs, the sooner you can forget about it and pretend they figured it out themselves.

4. Try Making The First Move

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This is not to imply you don't already, but it can be easy to get complacent and stay safely tucked into our gender roles — especially if you're in a committed relationship. Sometimes, the only thing you need is to take matters into your own hands, so to speak. Feeling really bold? Take it a step further by coming onto him while doing something mundane like grocery shopping. Not only will this spice things up, but it can also be just the confidence boost you needed to put the spring back in your step.

And, of course, have fun.

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