Can't. Stop. Perspiring: 21 Things Females With A Sweating Problem Will Understand
For some reason, sweating seems to be a concept that is reserved exclusively for men, when, in reality, that couldn't be further from the truth. As the seasons begin to change, this problem has never been more apparent.
We sweat through our layers; we experience hot flashes like a 50-year-old about to enter menopause and we rush to turn on our ACs when we return home from the day.
So what is life like for a female who suffers from extreme sweating? Well, it goes a little something like this:
1. You have to give yourself 10 extra minutes to go anywhere so you don't arrive covered in sweat
You are always on time or early because rushing is clearly not an option. If you do end up rushing, you'll completely ruin your hair and makeup, so there goes a waste of your time anyway.
2. If you plan on being out for the entire day, you need to bring deodorant with you everywhere
Sure, the advertisement may say this sh*t lasts the entire day, but you know way better. There's a reason they make that little travel size deodorant, as you find yourself having one in each bag you own.
You also are too familiar with the struggle of different brands. Chances are you've found that one type that works for you and you haven't deviated from it for years.
3. You always need to wear two layers
Why? Because 1: you'll sweat through the bottom layer immediately and 2: you can take the top one off at your discretion. Your body temperature varies and despite it being less than 50 degrees outside, you will still find yourself sweating.
4. Oil sheets are your BFF
How else are you supposed to wipe the sweat off your face without disrupting your makeup? Exactly. Thanks to Clean and Clear, who started the trend, places (like Sephora) are now stepping up their game and capitalizing on this trend.
I mean how else would you survive concerts, outdoor events and hot and sweaty bars?
5. When people suggest you use foundation, you just laugh at them
You will sweat that sh*t off within an hour of application, so really what's the point in buying it? You will stick to your BB or CC cream since anything heavier than that will basically urge you to sweat on command.
6. You haven't raised your arms to do the YMCA in 7 years
Do you even own anything other than dark colors? Sweat stains are never attractive for a female, let alone anyone, so you play it safe and keep your arms glued to your sides at all times.
7. If anyone tries to tickle you, you revert into the fetal position immediately
I'm not sure why anyone would try and tickle someone at this age, but if someone tries, you surrender immediately. Firstly because you are already probably sweating and you don't want to be touched and secondly because you will start sweating uncontrollably as you try and keep your composure.
8. If you share your bed with anyone, it involves two separate blankets
Blanket on, blanket off, blanket on, a little part of your foot sticking out, then your leg, then the blanket goes back on...
Sharing the covers with anyone is quite the challenge as your body temperature fluctuates more than the stock market. Which only leads to...
9. There is no such thing as a comfortable cuddle
While many girls love to be spooned and held, you can't stand being that close to another human being. It's not because you dislike the attention, but you can't be that close to someone for extended periods of time without breaking out in massive sweats.
10. You still use your AC in the winter
It doesn't matter if the temperature outside has reached negative degrees, you know there is absolutely no way you can sleep without a constant flow of AC. While many people receive lower utility bills around his time, yours still seems to hover around the same amount as it does in July.
11. There is just never a time when you're not hot
You can always, always be colder; it's better to be freezing than overheated — ALWAYS.
12. Boob sweat is an enemy you face on a daily basis
Don't go chasing waterfalls... was TLC referring to the waterfall that cascades down your rib cage on a daily basis? Because that's the only kind of waterfall I've ever encountered in my life.
13. You're self-conscious about every gym mat you've ever lain on
The day you forget a towel for the gym is the worst day of your life. You are more than well aware how much you sweat, which is why you would never lie down on a mat bareback.
I mean, isn't this how you develop ringworm?
14. You heavily consider getting botox in your armpits
The fact that there are surgical procedures to eliminate your sweating problems makes you feel a bit better about yourself as you are clearly not the only one suffering. People actually do this, right? Hmm, I wonder how much it costs.
15. You can't hold anyone's hand for more than five to 10 seconds
This is both a blessing and a curse, isn't it?
16. You come out of the shower sweating
You have more than occasionally found yourself taking a cold shower after a workout. For some reason, your sweating doesn't ever seem to stop...
17. You own a lifetime supply of dry shampoo
Dry shampoo is necessary to fight the grease! This is literally a godsend because everyone knows how awful it is to have to wash your hair on a daily basis.
18. You can't blow dry your hair in the summer
The whole point is to dry your hair, but as soon as it's starting to dry, it just get wets again from all your sweat. This is quite the paradox and one that can only be combatted with heavy doses of air conditioning.
19. Even if you straighten your hair, you will wake up with it curly
You sweat when you're awake and you sweat when you're asleep. Sure, maybe you shouldn't be sleeping with a down comforter, but it's just too comfortable not to. I mean is there anything better than turning your room into an ice box and burying yourself underneath the covers?
20. You've been having hot flashes since you were 16
Your friends just think you're over-exaggerating, but they're not the ones who feel as clammy and constricted as you do. The feeling of sweating through your own skin is beyond uncomfortable. The solution? Proceed to the nearest air vent immediately.
21. You've never had a pleasant experience with public transportation
It doesn't matter what season it is, you will sweat your ass off on any form of transportation. I honestly don't even know when it's worse, when the temperature inside and outside are aligned or when they are not.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It