As females, we try our hardest to avoid carbs at all costs, but there are some circumstances that make these delicacies unavoidable.
Being drunk is probably the number one time we don't give a sh*t about what we're eating and, as a result, we consume our entire body weight in whatever food we can get our hands on at that very moment.
However, there are very few times when you can rationalize the effort you will have to put into working off your indulgences and indiscretions (aka when you're sober). But when you can, the results are glorious, fulfilling and happily fattening.
So, when do we cave? The countdown goes a little something like this:
12. Any time you see a Chick-fil-A
If you've never had the waffle fries from Chick-Fil-A, then you've truly never lived. This fast food restaurant is the unicorn of the industry and should be treated as such.
Unfortunately, it's not open on Sundays — which would probably be the best day to enjoy some deep-fried loving — so you must take advantage of the restaurant when you come across it.
11. McDonald's during the Monopoly game
PSA: It begins today! Yup, you're welcome. It doesn't matter how long McDonald's has been practicing this tradition, you fall for it every damn time — especially while under the influence.
The more items you purchase, the better your chances of winning huge prizes, so it only makes sense to keep eating McDonald's, right? Right.
10. Wings during a football game
What else are you supposed to indulge in during a football game? Is there nothing better than lying on your couch while simultaneously stuffing your face with football-themed foods? (That's rhetorical: No, there is not.)
Sure, you can opt for chips and other small snacks, but you know they won't fill you for a three-hour-plus timeframe. Plus, calories don't count on Sundays.
9. Eating pasta after dieting all summer long
Thank God bikini season is over because you are f*cking starving. You haven't allowed yourself to indulge for a solid three months, but alas, that awful time period is over and done with; well, that is, until next year.
So, what better way to spend your time than swimming in a bowl of spaghetti? Enjoy, you deserve it.
8. Grilled cheese, any damn time you feel like it
Grilled cheese is a gift from the gods because you really have never tasted anything quite like it. It doesn't matter what time of the day it is; grilled cheese is amazing at 9 am, delicious at 1 pm and definitely satisfactory at 11 pm.
7. Anything you can get your hands on at a tailgate
The best part about participating in a tailgate is eating while you drink and drinking while you eat. I mean, isn't that the point of being a female at a tailgate? Oh, you mean people actually watch the game? Could've fooled me...
6. Chinese food on Christmas
This one goes out to all my fellow Jews. It gets a bit lonely on Xmas when half of your friends basically vanish, so you must fill the void with immense amounts of Chinese food. There's a reason this tradition has been going on for so long — it's too hard to resist.
5. Chocolate on your period
Ah, your period: the three- to five- days of every month when you can eat everything you want to, skip the gym and don't even feel bad about it.
Sure, having your period may suck and temporarily ruin your sex life, but at least you can indulge in your favorite cravings without feeling guilty about it.
4. A hungover breakfast sandwich
Does BAE stand for bacon and eggs? Because that is how you feel about breakfast when you wake up with an awful hangover. There is nothing that can cure the nausea you are experiencing quite like a breakfast sandwich.
The best part? You can order it right to your bed via Seamless. Thank heavens for delivery because there is absolutely no way your hungover ass is crawling to the nearest bodega.
3. Beer when you're on the verge of blacking out, but still want to remain social
Okay, so you don't usually drink beer, but when you've already downed upwards of seven tequila shots, this is probably the best move you can make to prevent yourself from blacking out.
In all honesty, you probably should've stopped drinking three shots ago, but hey, that's never stopped you before.
2. Candy when you're high, especially while watching movie
Bring on the sour straws because your stoner self has a bottomless pit for a stomach. Is there anything better than watching a movie while binge-eating your favorite snacks while hitting the pipe? No one, I repeat no one, can resist candy. It's just against human nature.
1. Drunk pizza
Okay, maybe I lied because eating pizza at 3 am may just be better than binge-eating when you're high. Your intoxicated-self knows no limits as you shove yet another slice down your throat while simultaneously ordering another slice.
There's a reason this is everyone's go-to late night option -- and one you are way too familiar with.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It