I realize that Botox, fillers, and all other forms of injectables are really hot on the market right now, but as someone who's a little squeamish about needles and terrified of looking like an actual alien, I've always been very much opposed to taking the Botox plunge.
But if there's one thing I'm willing to throw caution to the wind on it's skincare, so I started doing research.
I asked every friend I have who has gotten Botox done everything I wanted to know. Who they went to, how satisfied they were, if it hurt, what to avoid and how much to spend.
This was tough, because in spite of the fact that Botox has been around for like 15 years, a lot of people are still kind of hush-hush about it, as if they want you to believe they naturally never age.
This might be good for their ego, but it's horrible for the psyche of humankind, so I'm here to break the stigma.
No, my forehead is not naturally devoid of wrinkles. But since when is working for something less valuable than being gifted with it? This is AMERICA, goddamnit.
After months of researching photos, reviews, and prices of different dermatologists, I decided to go see Dermatologist Dr. Dendy Engelman at Manhattan Dermatology & Cosmetic Surgery, who is a walking billboard for her own impeccable work.
She met with me to discuss exactly what I wanted done (mostly the area between my eyebrows and the lines on my forehead). She pricked me twice between the eyes with 27 units, and a couple times across the forehead, with 17 units, and she sent me on my way with a little ice pack to stop any swelling.
The whole thing came to $600 bucks, which is a lot, and you could get it for a lot less through a promotion online, but I'm not gonna Groupon my FACE, thank-you-very-much.
Botox takes anywhere from a three days to two weeks to settle in, and but you'll feel it almost immediately. It's kinda like getting an ankle weight put in your forehead. It just takes a little more effort to move.
By day two, I was wondering why I couldn't see any difference in the wrinkles in my forehead.
I'm very impatient, and the progress was slow, but steady. It was also an excellent opportunity to practice my photojournalism skills.
Day three I could barely see any progress, which was not encouraging.
I was instructed not to work out for about three to four days, as you can actually sweat the stuff out, so I enjoyed the time off my exercise routine by picking up a habit of recording the progressive relaxation of my facial muscles.
Day four was a REAL cliffhanger. Most of the big wrinkles were gone, but the smaller ones toward the outside of my right brow were still there, leaving what appeared to be a bump in my forehead that looked like I had horns removed.
My fears about looking like an alien were coming true. I kept thinking to myself, "THIS is what you get for trying to look HOT, Rosie."
I was fucking horrified and was thanking everything holy that I had bangs to cover it up, but I'd be lying if I told you I didn't get down on my knees to ACTUALLY say a prayer before bedtime.
Day five was proof that through God and Botox, all things are possible, except for a smaller forehead. The only thing I can compare it to is waking up as a kid on Christmas.
It was an emotional roller coaster of a week, but I will say this: I am never, ever going back to life without this magical shit.
I love Botox, and I love my dermatologist more. She did an amazing job.