Lifestyle

11 Unnecessary Lies Women Tell Each Other And What They Really Mean

by Ashley Fern
Stocksy

As much as we women might think we're honest creatures, we actually lie to ourselves and our friends pretty frequently — even if we don't realize the full extent of what we are actually doing. Why?

Even though the words we exchange might not be outwardly malicious, they're still validations of how we really feel — no matter how out of touch with reality they really are.

So we encourage this false sense of reality and tell ourselves whatever it is we need to hear to feel better. But what are some of the more frequent lies we tell our friends, ourselves and honestly anyone who's willing to listen?

"But it's a different kind of black shirt."

Why we say it: Because we need to rationalize our ridiculous, terrible and unnecessary shopping habits.

What we really mean: "Black is just the most versatile color out there and this style is completely different. I mean, it has adjustable straps! My other six black tank tops don't have that ability."

What we should be saying instead: "My name is _____, and I am a shopaholic."

Why we should stop saying it: Because we already have 247649038763 black shirts that look exactly the damn same.

"I'm so over him."

Why we say it: To try and convince ourselves we aren't at all upset by something that is actually killing us.

What we really mean: "I still stalk him on every social media platform and even if he's blocked me, my best friend will send me screenshots of every move he makes."

What we should be saying instead: *Sobs uncontrollably*

Why we should stop saying it: The sooner you accept and embrace your feelings, the sooner you can get the F over them — duh.

"I'm going to cook this entire week."

Why we say it: To make us feel like we are the productive individuals our parents think we are.

What we really mean: "I will attempt to bring lunch at least three times this week and cook dinner twice (maybe more, but doubtful)."

What we should be saying instead: "I need to get my sh*t together. It's no wonder I'm always broke."

Why we should stop saying it: I have no idea; I say this every single day.

"It's not that unhealthy, right?"

Why we say it: To justify whatever food we are going to eat that we know we shouldn't be eating.

What we really mean: "This is so f*cking terrible for me, but I'm at the point where I really just don't give a damn."

What we should be saying instead: "OK, I know this is bad but I deserve it."; "It's just one time."

Why we should stop saying it: Just own up to it and realize there are worse things in life than cheating with a piece of pizza.

"I'll start my diet tomorrow."

Why we say it: To allow ourselves one last change to engorge in whatever feast we currently feel is necessary.

What we really mean: "I ate like complete sh*t this weekend and embraced every single second of it, guess I'll have to eat well this week."

What we should be saying instead: "I should probably just stop eating like sh*t right this moment instead of waiting another day."

Why we should stop saying it: It's the opposite of helpful to think of your diet in weekly terms. Say it with me: "LIFESTYLE."

"I'm only having one drink tonight."

Why we say it: To trick ourselves into thinking we have self-control and are capable of being productive on Saturday mornings.

What we really mean: "I am not getting blacked out tonight."

What we should be saying instead: "I'm just not going out."

Why we should stop saying it: Because no one ever actually stops with one drink (and, yes, shots qualify as drinks).

"She's so annoying"

Why we say it: To play down the fact that this girl you have just met is actually stunning.

What we really mean: "I wish I could pull off that outfit."

What we should be saying instead: "I'll give it to her — she is hot."

Why we should stop saying it: Because jealousy is never really good for anyone.

"Maybe he's just really busy?"

Why we say it: To make ourselves feel better that the guy we are into hasn't texted us back yet.

What we really mean: "WHAT THE F*CKING F*CK IS TAKING THIS D-BAG SO LONG TO RESPOND?!?!?!?!?"

What we should be saying instead: "Maybe I should get a hobby."

Why we should stop saying it: Ladies! We are better than this!

"I'm not sure, I'm not really hungry."

Why we say it: Because we are highly indecisive and don't want to appear high maintenance.

What we really mean: "I have no idea what I want until you start blurting out suggestions I can reject."

What we should be saying instead: "I want sushi in and around my mouth. Immediately."

Why we should stop saying it: Because as soon as you come up with some BS suggestion like Chipotle, we will immediately reject it.

"Ugh, I'm dying."

Why we say it: We love to overexaggerate our problems.

What we really mean: "We are one of the following (or any combination): hungover, sick, tired, bored, lonely, hungry, angry, horny, hungry."

What we should be saying instead: "I am hungover"; "I feel sick"; "I am tired."

Why we should stop saying it: If you were actually dying, we hope you'd be acting quite differently than this.

"It doesn't really look that greasy, does it?"

Why we say it: To put off the dreaded hair wash for one more day.

What we really mean: "I am too lazy to even attempt to blow dry my hair again this week."

What we should be saying instead: "I am a lazy and gross individual and I DON'T CARE who knows it!"

Why we should stop saying it: We shouldn't.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It