41 Reasons Why I'm Not Shady, I'm Just Careful With My Heart

by Gigi Engle

What is it with guys calling girls “shady” just because they aren’t super emotional or obsessed with them?

I have my own life; it doesn’t revolve around the guy I’m dating.

I’m my own person and I feel like I’m constantly being punished for that. It’s like I’m not a “normal” girl because I don’t put my man above everything else. Is this 2015, people? Really?!

Because I have my own plans and my own friends, I’m somehow “shady.” Just because I don’t necessarily need you -- just because I want you -- just because I could survive without you and, therefore, don’t feel like I have to be with you every second, I’m “sketchy.”

Can a woman even win when it comes to relationships? We’re constantly dealing with the push and pull of the right or wrong ways to act.

We ladies walk a fine, invisible line when it comes to romantic "partnerships." If we dare show interest, we’re clingy; if we don’t answer a text, we’re sketchy. Why are we the ones who need to make everyone comfortable? Why is this our responsibility anyway?

I’m not a walled-off, distant person incapable of love; I just don’t give my love freely because I’m not looking to get my heart broken for the hundredth time by some guy who probably isn’t worth it.

You want to call me guarded? Fine, call me guarded, but we live in a world where a woman can’t just play damsel and expect for Prince Charming to come and carry her away to a life in a fairy tale. Who would even want that? Gag me.

Whimsical, unbroken, simple women are a f*cking myth. Sorry, guys.

Women are strong and independent. We have our own lives, our own careers and our own ambitions. Our lives do not revolve around you. Get over it or get out.

These are 41 reasons why I’m not shady, I’m just f*cking careful with my heart (and my head).

1. No, I didn’t creep on your Facebook; I needed to use your phone because mine died.

2. I’m not being distant; I just don’t know if I f*ck with you yet.

3. I didn’t sleep with that guy; I literally said “hi” because he went to college with me.

4. I’m not dating other people; I’m just not ready for you to meet my mom when we've only been dating for a minute.

5. I’m not salty; I’m just sick of being sweet.

6. I’m not leading a double life; I just don’t have a Facebook.

7. I don't hide my past; I just don't expose my failures.

8. I'm not insensitive; I'm just scared to open up.

9. I'm not on the down-low; I'm just scared to take it to the next level.

10. I'm not closed off; I just don't want to be an open book.

11. I’m not trying to hide anything; I just don’t want you looking through my texts.

12. I’m not making sh*t awkward... you are for saying that.

13. I didn’t ignore your text; I just hate texting. Does no one pick up the phone to make a call anymore?

14. I’m not hiding behind my walls; I’m just used to having boundaries.

15. I did see you called; I'm just going to call you back when I'm not with my friend.

16. I want to be in a relationship with you; I just don't want to be in a relationship on Facebook with you.

17. I didn’t blow you off; I already had plans.

18. I’m not making things difficult; I’m just not an easy person.

19. I'm not cheating; you're just playing games with my heart.

20. I'm not secretive; I've just learned to keep my mouth shut.

21. I'm not cold; I just like to test the waters.

22. I'm not uptight; I just don't want to overwhelm you.

23. I’m down to try the weird, kinky thing you've been talking about; I’m just not on that level yet.

24. It’s not that I don’t trust you for no reason, you just haven’t given me any reason to trust you yet.

25. I would have brought you to the party, but I’m not sure how permanent this is.

26. I’m not hiding you; I just didn’t tag you in that picture.

27. I’m not putting off this conversation; I just don’t want to fight with you anymore.

28. I didn’t roll my eyes because I’m a bitch; I rolled my eyes because you’re being annoying.

29. I’ll meet your friends sometime; I just want to make sure you're my friend first.

30. I’m not making excuses; I just don’t want to chill tonight.

31. I’m not waiting for better plans; I just go with the flow.

32. I’m not ignoring you; you just call me 50 times a day.

33. I’m not avoiding you; I just have a lot going on at work right now.

34. I’m not over you; I’m just not an emotional person.

35. I'm not unforgiving; I've just been burned too many times before.

36. I'm not unwilling to compromise; I just finally know what I'm looking for.

37. I didn’t lie to you; you didn’t ask me a direct question.

38. I’m not being frigid; I literally have my period.

39. I’m not aloof; I’m just careful with whom I let in.

40. I'm not withdrawn; I'm just selective with my interests.

41. I’m not shady; I’m just careful whom I trust with my heart.