12 Times Ryan Lochte's Douchiness Should've Won A Gold Medal
For one last time, Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps will go to Olympic war on Thursday night.
The American pair is set to swim for the gold in the men's 200m medley, which will be Lochte's last event in Rio and, possibly, the last Olympic event of his career.
Like most athletes when they're on the verge of the end, Lochte's moment should prompt some reflection, specifically on how he became one of the greatest swimmers America has ever seen and one of its most well-known douchebags.
Now, to be fair, Lochte is possibly the most likable douchebag ever, but a douchebag all the same. It's an impressive feat, really, and impressive feats deserve praise.
Here are 12 of the douchiest moments in Ryan Lochte's career.
1. Any time he drives, apparently
This description comes from The New York Times:
'I just want to be done,' he said on the drive to a nearby Hilton, steering his white Range Rover with his knee, sitting far down in the bucket seats, blasting Lil Wayne.
2. When he failed to understand the meaning of "douchebag" while being a douchebag
3. When he posed for this picture with the king of douchebags himself
4. Any time he says, "Jeah!"
5. When he took a picture with a cardboard cutout of himself
6. When he made a signature high-top shoe with Speedo (of all companies)
7. When he claimed his dog "named himself"
8. When he wore an American flag grill at the 2012 Olympics
9. When it was revealed he went and got a backup grill
10. When he did whatever type of dance this is for a Rio Olympics promo
11. When he dyed his hair silver
12. And when he explained why he dyed his hair silver
Never change, Ryan. Never change.