Guy Gets Paid To Take Animal Selfies All Day While You Suffer At Your Desk


Allan Dixon is a photographer from New Zealand who has the best job in the world.

Dixon has a degree in computer engineering and, as Mashable reports, worked at a myriad of defunct startups until he finally found the career for him: taking selfies with cute animals.

It's like how I went to college to learn how to write fiction, then graduate school to learn how to write fiction, then ended up writing stories about wholesome bros taking photographs with alpacas. Capitalism is fucking weird, guys.

Dixon calls it "adventure content marketing," which literally involves just photographs and videos of him in nature, with animals, having fun.

There is, apparently, such a big market for people taking pictures of themselves in cool places with adorable animals, that you can build yourself a life around just that.

You have to admit, he does have a penchant for this.

You have to have an old shoe for a heart not to feel a surge of warmth while looking at the picture above.

Warmth in your heart, to be specific. If you feel a warmth elsewhere, that is a different thing, but you'll probably like all these pictures a lot, anyway. I'm talking about bestiality.

OK, let's move on.

Although, I'd like you to imagine, for a moment, what this scene looked like from any other perspective other than the one we see here.

A guy on the ground taking probably a hundred straight photographs next to a cat on a skateboard.

I just shit my pants from cuteness.

It's a thing that happens to me. I shit when I'm happy. I shit when I'm sad. I shit when I have eaten food and need to get rid of it in a toilet. And I shit when I see cute things.

This is his JOB. This is a picture of him AT WORK.

This cat is his colleague.

This bird is his coworker.

This gross creature is his boss.

This horse is a horse.

Dear reader, we must follow Dixon's example. He knew what he liked (pretending to yell next to cute animals), and he made that dream a reality. We can all learn a lot from him.

Godspeed, Dixon. May you continue on your noble path.

Citations: Mashable