Madison Maidenberg Is Done Silencing Herself

Madison Maidenberg’s breakup was even messier than what was shown on Love Is Blind Season 9. On the show, her fiancé Joe Ferrucci coldly ended things with her a few days before their planned wedding. What viewers didn’t see was the full story — which included a hookup with another contestant and a risky text message post-breakup. “For a year and a half, I've not understood. I still don’t fully understand,” Madison tells Elite Daily. “At this point, I’ve accepted I might never get the answers I want. I don't know if he's even capable of giving those answers.”

Part of Madison’s breakup story came out at the Season 9 reunion, where it was revealed that Joe briefly dated fellow Season 9 contestant Kacie McIntosh after the show. Madison personally witnessed Kacie “blatantly flirting” with Joe when she was still engaged to him, specifying that she noticed Kacie’s advances at a bar after the wedding fittings. She was taken aback when Kacie made a bold comment to her following their fling.

After that, I texted him, ‘Part of me wanted to have you come over.’

“I ran into her at a pool party last summer, and she had the audacity to say to me, ‘Oh, we're Eskimo sisters,’” Madison says. Though she knows her castmate was “hooking up” with Joe, it never seemed too serious. “I wouldn't even call it a relationship,” Madison says. “It was a situationship where they were both using each other.”

The Kacie situation wasn’t the only bizarre development after Madison’s breakup with Joe. About “two or three weeks” after they ended things, she says they almost rekindled. “We met up again in Denver to try to get to being normal, but there was no closure conversation,” Madison says. “Then, he walked me to my car. We hug. We start making out. And then he starts crying.”

“After that, I texted him, ‘Part of me wanted to have you come over.’ And he said, ‘I totally would have.’ So I was like, ‘Well, then why did you start crying?’” Madison says. “He was just like, ‘I don’t know. That was weird.’ And that was that.”

Now that Madison is watching her journey back on Netflix, she’s starting to see the red flags a lot more clearly. Here, she opens up about the struggles we didn’t see on camera.

Elite Daily: A lot of viewers thought Joe was behaving strangely when the two of you first met face-to-face. Did you feel differently about that moment living it versus watching it as a Love Is Blind scene?

Madison Maidenberg: Absolutely. It was a really intense situation where I was so emotionally heightened. I wasn't able to read body language as well as I normally could, and I didn’t pick up on how the way that he spoke to me was sort of off.

It was jarring watching it back. To watch the interview and hear him dehumanize me by saying, ‘Madison is now connected to that,’ it was really hurtful.

ED: When did you start noticing issues in the relationship with Joe?

MM: When we were getting into a car to pull up to the hotel in Mexico. They didn’t show it, but that was the first time we saw each other after the reveal. I was waiting by the car, and he didn’t even acknowledge me. He's saying hello to all of the crew, looking around, and then I'm like, "Hi." And he's like, "Oh, I didn't even realize it was you."

ED: Did this become a pattern?

MM: It was like that the whole day. I felt like there wasn't connection. I was so excited to see him, to finally connect and talk, and it wasn't reciprocated. I vividly remember one moment where they split the girls and boys up to get lunch, and I turned around to blow him a kiss. He didn't even turn around. I started feeling like, “Maybe this person isn't as excited about me as I am about him.”

I had also written him three love letters after the pods, which I sat and read to him once we reconnected in Mexico. His response was, "Oh, yeah, I didn't write you anything." I didn't expect a whole love letter back, but it was just a little bit lackluster in the way that I was showing up for him versus the way he was showing up for me.

ED: You’ve said that Joe would act differently depending on if cameras were rolling. What did you mean by that?

MM: On camera, it felt like he was trying to make it look like he wasn't interested in me. Off camera, we were having deeper conversations. And I brought it up to him. I said, “Are you trying to make it look like you're not into me on camera?” He didn't really give me an answer.

ED: Can you remember what he said?

MM: It did not add up. He would say, "Oh, I'm camera shy." But my response to that is, "We knew what we signed up for."

ED: Do you feel that he was overly focused on how the show would portray him?

MM: It was absolutely a concern for him. It was very evident to me that he was aware of the public perception of him. When we got back to Denver after Mexico, I met one of his buddies. The very first question that his friend asked me was, "Are you concerned about your edit?" It wasn’t, "Are you excited to be engaged? How are you feeling?" The conversation had nothing to do with my relationship and everything to do with editing.

ED: When did you become aware of his meltdown at the tuxedo fitting?

MM: He did not communicate that with me after it happened. I stayed on set at the bridal suite for a while longer, while he told me he was going out with some of the cast. So I meet up with them at a bar, I'm standing there with my ring on my finger. I just had a beautiful wedding dress fitting. I'm feeling so excited, and I'm telling his friends that I love him and I can't wait to marry him. And he's watching me say these things, knowing full well that he had just stormed out of tux fittings and hadn’t told me.

It was so disheartening to know that he allowed me to stand there and profess my love to him, and to not say, "Hey, Madison, let's talk," or better yet, tell production, "We need to film tonight because this isn't happening anymore. I'm done." It was very strange to me.

The people that are giving me hate are the pick-mes and the misogynists.

ED: How has the response been to your story on social media?

MM: It's a mixed bag. The girls' girls and the people who have gone through emotional situations like that understand it and see it for what it is. The people that are giving me hate are the pick-mes and the misogynists, so I'm able to tune that out.

In general, I'm focusing on the positive. I'm so thankful that me speaking out about my eye condition has made so many people feel seen. After speaking out about the eating disorder that I developed from Joe's comments, I've had women reaching out to me and saying, "Thank you. I've been suffering in silence, and this is giving me encouragement that I can heal." As hard as it is to be vulnerable, hearing stuff like that makes this all worth it.

ED: What’s the main thing you’ve learned from this whole experience?

MM: To lean into my intuition. I knew deep down something was wrong, but I genuinely wanted to love him and make this work. And in doing that, I silenced myself.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.