To quote Taylor Swift’s iconic 2022 NYU commencement speech, it’s time to “learn to live alongside cringe.” In case you didn’t tune into Swift’s viral address, the singer announced that feeling uncomfortable about your authentic traits, aka being cringe, is inevitable. So, why not embrace it — especially when it comes to dating? Nerding out about your passions on the first date (think an intense Twilight obsession) and being vulnerable about your relationship history were once peak points of cringe. However, TikTok creators are now reclaiming these stereotypical no-gos as green flags on the search for their soulmate and a recent poll, conducted by OnePoll and commissioned by Plenty Of Fish, confirms a universal love of all things cringe.
Out of the 2,000 U.S. Gen Z’ers and Millennials that participated in the poll, 73% confirmed they’re no longer afraid to reveal things about themselves that might be considered cringe on a first date, and 74% said they find it attractive when their dates do the same. After debating what once were believed to be the most cringy dating behaviors, 43% of participants agreed that a date being intensely passionate about a niche hobby is no longer a reason to draw back, and content creator @mikeahaggerty agrees. “You could be talking about your love of spicy foods or your shoelace collection, I don’t care what it is — there is absolutely nothing sexier than when a person is unapologetically passionate about something,” Mike says in a TikTok video from this summer. Other users on the app share that by investing in your specific hobby and openly sharing it with your date, you might find that they have the same or similar interests, creating a more intentional attachment. For mindset coach @celestiquebeauty, this vulnerability led to going to the gym with her partner consistently and building an even deeper love for fitness.
Another formerly cringe-worthy experience that people now love is not playing hard to get. In the past, it seemed like playing hard to get was the only way to stimulate flirty conversation, but now 46% said that not doing that often leads to more honest exchanges. Dating coach @vickita.trivedi took to the app to say that when she intentionally seemed unapproachable, she started attracting people who like to chase a short-term, fling-like type of relationship — which doesn’t work if you’re looking to commit to someone. TikToker @kimperetzz says that the reason playing hard to get felt so cringe was because it’s essentially a game — she recommends actually setting boundaries, being confident after you share your cringe, 73%, and raising your standards, in lieu of playfully isolating yourself.
If embracing your cringe sounds well, cringy at first, TikTok creator @healwithmegs says even though it’s human nature to care what people think, try to approach this just as being your true self and not bothering whether you’re judged for it. “When you are meeting new people, try not to put on the most polished, perfected presentation of yourself. Be the silliest, weirdest, and most sincere version of you, because then you will know whether or not this person is worth your energy,” Megan said in a video. Other creators, like @iamizaiahhh, said the only time he truly fell in love was when he welcomed his partner’s cringe. He also said that people who adopt the cringe are the most fun, light-hearted people he’s ever dated — and that genuine authenticity even led to better sexual connections, too.
Along with not playing hard to get and passionately sharing your interests, 55% of the poll participants encourage people to talk about your fandoms early on (yes, give them a rundown of everything you know about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce), 51% said it’s no longer cringe to be direct about your dating history, and 35% believe calling a date, instead of texting or sliding into the DMs, is a self-assured way to ensure a second meet-up. Whether you do all of these or none of them, what’s most important is that you’re comfortable, so trust your gut and release the cringe in your own time.
