Relationships consist of several milestones (and love and equal partnership, but more on that later), but none is quite as nerve-wracking as when you think you're ready to buy a house with your partner. Buying a house in general is a big life step, period, so buying a house with a partner can be even more exciting and terrifying all at once. It can feel like a major step toward a forever kind of love, so how do you make absolutely sure you're ready to take it?
Well, it's complicated. "Buying a house with your partner isn’t just a commitment to a real estate purchase and investment, but it’s also an investment in your relationship for the long haul," Julie Spira, online dating expert, tells Elite Daily. "Just like real estate value will fluctuate and cause anxiety and stress, your relationship will also go through bumps in the road, where you’ll be riding high one day, and then can easily find yourself in a situation where the relationship can become problematic where you’re not communicating at your best," Spira explains.
However, there are ways to know that you and your partner have a solid enough foundation to start searching for a home together, pun intended. "You've known each other through thick and thin — and for a longish time," Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, licensed clinical psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of the new book Training Your Love Intuition, tells Elite Daily. "People act and think very differently during good and bad times." While you might think you know your partner well enough to take this step, Wish maintains that there are certain issues that need to be conquered before signing on the dotted line.
First, Wish says that it's necessary that you "communicate often and with love and care." It's a fact that "communication on your feelings and needs as the relationship progresses will help keep both partners happy," as Pricilla Martinez, a life coach at Blush Online Life Coaching told Elite Daily, so it makes sense that communication would be a big part of being ready to buy a house together. Additionally, Wish insists that another sign you and bae are ready to buy a house together is if you "are a good problem-solving team," and that you "respect and trust each other." Again, totally reasonable. You never know what types of stressors and conflicts buying a house will come with, so being able to conquer problems together makes for a couple ready to take that step.
Wish also says that another sign you're ready is if "you are each other's 'wing-person.' You bring complementary skills to the relationship. You are each other's best friend." Finally, and perhaps of the utmost importance, if the two of you "have already lived together and worked out both your relationship and financial issues," Wish says you're probably ready.
Wish says that it's crucial that "You also know why you are moving in together." It shouldn't just be about saving money or following a certain timeline you think you have to stick to, she advises. At its core, "Moving in together is an act of time-traveling," Wish says. "You and your partner are moving into the future — with no time limit. You are emotionally announcing to yourself, each other, and to the world that you love, cherish, and honor each other — with an eye to a long-term future. In other words, you are not moving in together because you are lonely, short of money, or [because it] is the next thing to do." The same is said for buying a house together. "Buying a house together is an announcement that says, 'We are a solid couple.' Are you?"
It's a tough question to ask yourself about your relationship, but buying a house together is a big deal, Wish says. So, don't be afraid to face the situation head-on and go there. Being on the same page emotionally and financially, having solid communication, and having lived together before are just factors that may contribute to the success of your relationship after buying a home. Only you and your partner can know if you're ready.