Talking about sex with the people you sleep with can be a super hot way to set the stage and grow comfortable before trying new things. Making sure all parties are feeling ready and at ease is paramount before trying something new, especially something new in the BDSM world. Asking the people you sleep with questions like: "What's your favorite kink?" or "What types of sex are you super into?" or "What have you always wanted to try?" can be a great way to open up a conversation about incorporating some new moves, while making sure that everyone is fully on board.
Whether you're unabashedly and totally kinky, or if you're just starting to look into BDSM, your sexual preferences are nothing to feel sheepish about. When it comes to sex, consent should be your number one priority. From sex toys and bondage, to role playing and skipping penetrative sex all together, to watching beauty tutorials on Youtube with a boo — it's totally cool to be into whatever it is that you're into. Once you've established that the people you're getting funky with are into what you're into, have at it — whatever it may be.
If you're looking for some fun BDSM-inspired moves to try, these 12 favorite kinks can serve up some great inspiration.
I like getting my hair pulled. I've had a lot of different hair cuts and have had super short hair. When it's long enough to get pulled, I like when my partner does it.
— Sophie, 24
I like having sex with nothing but my shoes on. Of course, being completely naked gives you a sense of being exposed, which is exciting. However, to be naked with nothing but shoes on can give you a sense of being more exposed since it triggers the mental image of going outside (almost) completely naked.
Being handcuffed to myself or to the bed or a chair is super hot. I like being blindfolded and getting tied down.
— Marc, 29
Spanking. Like, without other activity. Just a lot of spanking all on its lonesome. I don't know why, but it gets me wet like no other. I know my boyfriend loves it too, and I melt when he talks dirty during. I love being tied up too, but that happens less frequently.
Choking and being choked. It's exhilarating. I only like when females choke me, though. I'm not into being dominated by men.
I have a shaving fetish. I don't know why but for my partner to shave me feels so good, they have to be gentle and take good care of me and its just so much of a turn on.
My girlfriend loves having her nipples played with — sucked, bitten, pinched, etc. You don't have to buy anything fancy, although I will say an inexpensive set of nipple clamps are loads of fun. You can also use clothespins if you want to go really cheap.
I've done quite a few role plays with different partners. I'm always keen on them, but the biggest thing is that I totally commit to whatever character I'm being told to play, so I've been privy to some really interesting role playing over the years that my lovers felt too embarrassed to bring up with others — everything from sexy aliens to werewolf play. My current girlfriend happens to be really into it.
I love pegging my boyfriend. He's super into butt stuff and I'm super into the control I feel from topping. After being the one that's penetrated most of the time, getting to penetrate someone feels super good and empowering.
— Molly, 26
Restraint, multiple orgasm prolonging, I’m a huge fan of not being in control. I’m a huge control freak, and the thought of having no control not only excites me but also arouses me.
From getting tied up to wanting to wear shoes and nothing else, there's no wrong way to have a favorite kink. As long as the sex you're having is consensual, it's totally cool and hot to be into whatever you're into. And when it comes to finding your favorite kink, the process of discovery can be the best part.
