What Your Dreams Say About Your Love Life, According To Experts
Sometime in the midst of sleep, you may dream about your significant other, coworker, or someone you’ve been talking to on Bumble. It might be a dreamy, enjoyable, or even chaotic scene playing out in your head, like your wedding day, a lavish couples vacation, or a date that feels so real. When you wake up the next day, you could find yourself wondering why you had this dream about your partner or someone who occupies your thoughts, and how it translates to real life. If this person continues to play a prominent role in your dreams, what exactly does that mean?
Elite Daily spoke with Kelly Sullivan Walden, author of The Love, Sex and Relationship Dream Dictionary, and Traci Stein, PhD, MPH, health psychologist, and core faculty member at the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Teachers College, Columbia University, to get some answers about the nature of romantic dreams and dreams about your wedding day. Stein says that typically, a specific person doesn’t pop up in your dreams on a consistent basis, even if you’re head over heels for them. She says if you do have recurring dreams about one person, though, you should journal what you remember about the dreams.
Take note of the overarching theme of the dream — if it’s romantic, pleasant, or full of tension. “That could either tell you something about what you feel about the person that you may not consciously want to address, but that a part of you thinks it’s important to take a closer look at,” Stein says.
How can dreams about love and your relationship connect to what you're going through in real life?
“For most of us humans, what’s at the heart of everything we do/say/dream is the heart — an attempt to figure out how to connect more effectively to and with our fellow humans,” says Walden. She continues to explain that when you feel a longing for a steamy connection that took place in your dream, that could mean you’re “awakening a passionate aspect of [yourself] that is yet unfulfilled.” These types of dreams may lead you to ask yourself how you can satisfy this with your partner in the real world.
If you continue to dream about someone, does that mean you’re meant to be together?
Is the person you dream about the most your “soulmate”? Not necessarily. Stein says someone can appear in your dreams for a multitude of reasons, and it’s crucial to consider what your personal needs, desires, and fears are, and how this person you’re dreaming about — not just a partner — fits into the equation.
Stein continues to explain that you can be attracted to the person you’re dreaming about, and that dream could even potentially indicate a relationship down the line. “Dreams can certainly highlight information for us that we may not notice as much during the waking state, and it’s worth paying attention if someone keeps popping up in your dreams. It means something — whether about our own wants or frustrations, about that other person, or both — but the best way to determine whether you should be with a specific person will be to pay attention to how you feel with them and how they are with you in the waking state,” she says.
What does it mean if you dream about marrying your SO?
If you’re currently in a relationship, dreaming about tying the knot with your partner “may be preparing you psychologically to expand into what it means to be committed and what you truly want in that arena (ala a rehearsal before a play),” says Walden.
On the one hand, if the wedding day in your dreams is a happy occasion, “then you are connecting with the ways to harmonize your relationship with your partner,” she continues. On the other hand, if the wedding is filled with chaos or stress, “you may be releasing your fears, worries, stresses, and discordant thoughts about your actual wedding or the aspects of your own psyche you are trying to bring together.” Weddings are a hot topic to think about, even if you aren’t engaged yet. Because of this, Walden points out that there’s a lot of pressure for one’s special day to go off without a hitch: “Your dreams may help you bring sanity to such an event, both physically and metaphysically.”
Kelly Sullivan Walden, author of ‘The Love, Sex and Relationship Dream Dictionary’
Traci Stein, PhD, MPH, health psychologist, and core faculty member at the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Teachers College, Columbia University
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