Are you about to text an ex? While that's not necessarily a bad thing — maybe you're friends, you'd like to talk, or you're still interested in them — it's not always the best idea. If this is the case for you, I'm here to assure you that there may be ways to prevent hitting send. To stop yourself from texting an ex you're not looking to get in touch with right now, I have procured some tips and tricks of the trade for you. Although you never need to be hard on yourself for wanting to text an ex, you also never have to text someone you know you shouldn't. So, these hacks may just be your saving grace.
I've been in toxic relationships before where the two of us couldn't quite work our way out. Every time we broke up, one of us would find an excuse to text the other, and we'd be back on, like a real-life Taylor Swift song. I've wanted to get out of this position so many times, but it isn't always so simple. Fortunately, I've learned over the years that even if I want to text an ex, there are tricks I can turn to that may help stop myself from doing it. Again, it's definitely not always bad to text an ex, but it can feel really awesome to be in control of your texting decisions.
Read on to find nine tips to stop yourself from texting an ex.
1. Text A Friend Instead
Sometimes, you may just have the urge to send a text. That happens to me all the time, so when I'm looking to avoid texting an ex, I reach out to one of my friends instead. That's what friends are for — to help when you need someone to talk to.
2. Go For A Walk
A change of scenery can be beneficial when you're looking to shift your mindset. If you're looking to change your mind about texting an ex, consider taking a walk (or sitting outside — however you like to engage with nature!) instead. The fresh air could help clear your head.
3. Write Down What You'd Want To Text Them
I've been angry at exes before, and I've wanted to send them long texts detailing my frustrations. However, in these situations, I've realized that mostly I want to write out exactly what I'm mad about, but I don't need to send it to them. Consider logging your text in a journal or a note on your phone — you'll always have it in case you want to send it later, but you don't have to text your ex right now.
4. Hit Up A Dating App
If you want to text an ex because you're feeling lonely, DW — that's totally understandable. In this case, it could be helpful to remember there are other people out there, so consider just swiping through a dating app to see the possibilities. If you see someone you want to go out with, that's great! But if not, or if you're not looking to date right now, you at least have a reminder that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
5. Remember Why You Broke Up
Your breakup might be fresh in your mind or it might be old, but you'll still be able to remember what led you to decide to end the relationship. If you keep in mind the reason why it ended, you might be able to come up with reasons not to text them (if that's what you're looking for). Even if the relationship didn't end badly, there's a reason you're trying not to text them now, so keep that in mind.
6. Take A Nap
This seems like it might be too simple, but I've often felt like I want to text someone I shouldn't when I'm exhausted. My mood can shift when I'm tired, and texting can feel like a better solution. If you're thinking about texting an ex but you know you don't actually want to, try getting a few minutes of shut-eye (if it's possible for you), and see how you feel when you wake up. If you're not in a position to take a nap, see if you can close your eyes and breathe for a few minutes.
7. Self-Care Self-Care Self-Care
Self-care can mean different things to different people, but regardless of what it means to you, now is the time to practice it. You may be feeling vulnerable since you're missing an ex, so it's especially important to take care of yourself. Get a massage, watch your favorite shows, hit up a yoga class — whatever makes you feel good. You deserve it!
8. Think About Where The Text Could Lead
It's possible that your ex is a great person, and they'd respond kindly to your text. However, them responding at all might lead to a longer conversation, which could lead to meeting up in person, and then that could lead to more. There's nothing wrong with this, but if you're looking to avoid seeing an ex, then think through the end result of sending that text. This can help you decide whether or not it's a good decision to hit "send."
9. Be Kind To Yourself
It's totally normal to want to text an ex. It's also totally normal to end up texting them even if you tried not to. No matter what happens, don't beat yourself up — you're trying your best, and relationships with exes can sometimes be really complicated. So, just remember to be nice to yourself, ex-text or not.
There are so many reasons I've wanted to text exes in the past — to sleep together again, to get my clothes back from them, to convey how angry I still am, to see if they want to get back together, to apologize for blocking them on the Instagram account they never use. It's totally healthy to text exes if that's what feels right to you, but if your gut says it's a bad idea and you're looking to take preventative measures, then these hacks could do the trick. Remember: You deserve someone you're excited to text, and that person is coming!