To Stop Yourself From Drunk Dialing A Crush, Try These Hacks
I’ll set the scene. It’s 2:15 a.m., and you’re out at a bar with your squad. While you’re sipping the last few drops of that third (highly potent) sangria, the DJ suddenly spins that Dan + Shay song that always reminds you of your crush. You pull out your phone, because shooting your shot seems like a phenomenal idea RN, thanks to your booze-induced confidence. Luckily, there’s no reason to risk your standing — because there are a ton of different expert-approved tactics you can try to stop yourself from drunk dialing a crush.
As many of us know from experience, this rarely ends well. That’s not to say it’s impossible to bounce back from, but it could definitely make things awk AF. One of the main reasons why it’s risky to drunk dial a crush is that you have little control over your responses and behavior when alcohol is in your system. Everyone’s drunk alter ego is a little bit different, but the problem is, that if you call your crush in this state, they won’t really get an accurate read of who you are. And you’re trying to impress them at this point, right?
“Everyone has different moods, such as playful, flirty, aggressive, etc., that take over when they’re drinking,” says Pricilla Martinez, CEO of Regroop Online Life Coaching. “Depending on what kind of drunk you are or what stage you’re in, the tone of the text could be completely off from what you’re actually trying to communicate. Once you’ve put something out there, it’s hard to reign it back in.”
Also, Martinez points out that it could give off a negative impression. While it’s fairly common to accidentally over-indulge on the drinking once in a great while, your crush might think you’re in the habit of getting sloppy on the reg — which could be a red flag. This is especially true if your crush doesn’t know you very well. Assuming they can tell you’re drunk when you call or text, they might assume that you have a lack of self-control.
“Even if this doesn’t stop your crush from pursuing you, it may come back up again once you’ve started dating,” explains Martinez. “You don’t want to leave them with the impression that they have to worry about you when you’re out with your friends.”
Here’s the problem, however. Even if you swear to yourself you won’t drunk dial your crush when you’re sober, that promise could very well fly out the window after a few glasses of Sauvignon Blanc. Why? Because alcohol impairs your judgment and your decision-making. In other words, you’re more likely to do things you would never do when you weren’t under the influence.
Since it could take an unrealistic amount of willpower to stop yourself from drunk dialing after a few adult beverages, may just need a little extra help.
“It's so hard to rationalize with yourself in that state,” says Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking.
Trombetti suggests having a friend hold onto your phone for the night. While you may not be able to post any FOMO-worthy Instagrams, you also won’t have to worry about accidentally drunk dialing that cutie from your journalism class. Or, Martinez proposes simply turning your phone off for the night. However, this comes with an obvious downside: You can’t send drunk Snapchats to your bestie that you’ll both giggle about tomorrow, and you can’t text your roomie to beg her to come out to the bar.
Both experts suggest forming a pact with your bestie — if they see you calling or texting your crush, it’s their responsibility to talk you off that ledge.
“Having your friends keep an eye on what you’re doing can work, but you have to be upfront with them about what you need them to look out for,” adds Martinez.
Martinez also recommends taking advantage of the multitude of apps available that can stop you from drunk texting and dialing. Some of these apps, like Drunk Mode, will block the contact information for your crush for whatever amount of time you specify. And if you don’t feel like downloading an app, you can take some precautionary measures — before you even take a sip of that first drink, Martinez advises changing your crush’s contact info to something that reminds you why you shouldn’t try to reach out. For example, putting your crush in your phone as “You’ll regret this tomorrow” or “Don’t do it, girl. Seriously” could very well prove effective.
The reality is, no matter how many measures you take to try and stop yourself from drunk dialing a crush, there may be times when you still go through with it anyway. Perhaps that friend you formed a pact with goes to the bathroom, so they’re unable to help you come to your senses. Or, perhaps you just can’t resist the urge to turn your phone back on. Regardless, it’s important to know that drunk texting or dialing your crush is not the end of the world. Seriously. You can survive this.
“We are only human and it happens!” says Trombetti. “You need to forgive yourself instead of focusing on hating yourself.”
If you do happen to contact your crush while you’re intoxicated, don't panic — there is a way to handle the situation with grace and salvage the situation. Martinez recommends simply acknowledging what you did.
“I think the best way to save face is to own it,” she tells Elite Daily. “If they know you have their number saved on your phone, you can’t pretend you didn’t know it was them. If you try to convince them it was meant for someone else, then it just comes across like you’re playing the field.”
In fact, you can actually manage to be both apologetic and flirtatious all at the same time. All you have to do is say something along the lines of, “Oops! Guess that was the tequila talking. Didn’t mean to come across so aggressive, but guess now you know who’s on my mind while I’m out on a Saturday night.” Boom — that kind of follow-up demonstrates that you’re mature and able to take responsibility for your actions. Better yet, it also shows your crush that are actually into them, otherwise, they may assume they were just a thoughtless booty call.
If you’re truly too humiliated to be that forthcoming, Martinez says there’s one little white lie you can always fall back on.
“Just pretend your drunk friend thought the phone was theirs,” she suggests. “But make sure you can explain how they were able to unlock it.”
At the end of the day, even if you do give in to temptation and drunk dial or text your crush, it may not really be a big deal — especially if you give them a reasonable explanation without over-apologizing. Let's be real: There’s a good chance your crush has drunk dialed or texted someone before. So if they judge you for it, that’s a tad hypocritical, right? Still, next time you’re heading out on a Friday night with your BFFs, keep in mind that you do have the power to prevent yourself from the potential embarrassment of it all. Remember — as a general rule, it's best not to let your drunk self text anything your sober self wouldn’t do (that is, unless it's fearlessly busting a move on the dance floor).