When it comes to feelings and romance, dads can often be impenetrable walls of mystery. There's certainly societal pressure on men to be less emotional and not show signs of weakness. However, that doesn't mean that dads don't have feelings or thoughts on vulnerable topics like romance and dating. To counteract this assumption, I actually had a handful of friends reach out and ask their dad for love advice, the results were pretty heartwarming.
Of course I reached out to my own dad, and his response definitely made me tear up in the middle of my work day. For four years my parents embarked on a long-distance relationship between the U.S. and China because of my mom's job. Because they had been married for 32 years, a lot our friends and family were really shocked at their decision to live so far apart for an indefinite amount of time. This past holiday season, my mom finally returned to the U.S., and my parents are happily living together again. I think that context makes what my dad said a whole lot sweeter. My parents are really great together and to each other, but that can some times mean I put a lot of pressure on my relationships to work out the exactly the way they have.
I feel like I've often put a lot of pressure on dates and partners to work out the way my parents have from the start. I think that's definitely an outside perspective of someone that only sees their relationship from one angle, though. I'm surprised I never simply thought to ask my dad for dating advice, but there's a first time for everything. If you want to hear some more much-needed love advice from dads, check out what they had to say below.
A significant other is a life-long commitment to compromise. Make sure your soulmate has a good soul. Remember, little things are just that, little things — don’t let them consume you.
— Randall, 57
Start looking for The One only when you’re comfortable [and] financially independent.
— Prasad, 52
You have to find someone that you would rather spend your time with more than anyone else in there [the] world. Even if that time is spent doing nothing in an empty room.
— Scott, 52
First of all, you have to be able to have a conversation with the person. You don’t have to agree all the time. But you have to respect the person enough to listen to their point of view whether you agree or disagree. I think overall, ideally you would [want to] make sure that you share the same core values, even [though] a few different opinion about various other issues is fine.
— Todd, 52
Find someone you love that shares the same moral values as you! Also, ask is this someone that my family can love as well? My mom always said [you're] not just marrying that person but you are also marrying their family! Is this someone I can picture growing old with, since soulmates are soulmates for life? Will this person be good to help raise a family? Is this person someone who makes me laugh and do I enjoy being around them? Your mom’s not only my soulmate but also my best friend! Can this person give me my space? It’s great to do things together, but we also need time doing thing by ourselves or with friends and other family.
— Jeff, 59
As long as you find someone who treats you with love and respect that's all that matters.
— Mike, 54
Honestly, these dads really did have some great wisdom to impart. When it comes down to it, respect and friendship seem to be at the heart of love for these dads. And, hey, no one even tried to tell a dad joke, so they must take this stuff pretty seriously.
