The Stages Of A Friendship Breakup Are Difficult, But You'll Be Stronger By The End Of It
Going through a breakup is never easy, huh? Whether it be with your significant other, or your best friend, it's tough and comes with tons of emotions you never wanted to feel. You have to figure out how to cope without someone you held so close, and live life for you again. Girl, you're so strong, and you'll be back on your feet and living your best life in no time. But, going through the stages of a friendship breakup is necessary and much-needed, especially if you're hoping to heal ASAP.
Truth is, there's a lesson to be learned from every split. When everything is still so messy, it can be difficult to see what the universe has in store. You always believed that your best friend was irreplaceable, and rebuilding a life that doesn't revolved around her will be a bit weird, to say the least. Everything really does happen for a reason, though, and you should always remember to put yourself first.
Like any other loss, you have to process what happened and will spend some time replaying the memories, too. Odds are, you'll run through conversations and realize you should have said something a bit differently. Those moments are in the past now, so grab a box of tissues and know that a lot of women have gone through friendship breakups just like this one. Self-care Sundays full of bubble baths and therapeutic burritos are absolutely OK while you're coping and going through these seven stages.
1. The Fight
There's bound to be some drama between you and your best friend before you call it quits. Maybe she stood you up one too many times, or broke a pretty important promise. Those situations can be hard to forgive right away, and somebody's feelings always end up hurt.
You'll text each other paragraphs, or have a really rough phone call. You wish you could be hugging it out, but you're feeling betrayed or just finally fed up with being a part of something so toxic.
The important thing to realize is that not all bestie fights lead to a big breakup. You're both human, and going to make a thousand mistakes during the time of your relationship, especially if you're in it for the long-run. Learn what can be forgiven, and what went just too far to forget.
2. The Anger
After all the drama goes down, you're probably going to be a bit angry. You'll be pumped up on adrenaline, and thinking of all the things that have bugged you about your bestie since day one. During this stage, it's best to give yourself some space from the situation. Put your phone down, so you don't say something you'll later regret. Sending texts after a fight never works out, am I right?
Seriously, when we're mad, we tend to get mean and forget what caused us to be so fed up in the first place. We start bringing up situations that were solved long ago, just to fuel the fire. In order to get through these emotions, it's key to turn all of that negative energy into something productive. Work it out in a cycling class, or calm yourself down with a nice relaxing face mask sesh at the end of a long day. You'll feel better when you're not fuming.
3. The Sadness
Once all the anger has passed, it's time to put on Dirty Dancing and keep to your tissues. Every loss comes with a whole lot of sadness because a piece of your life is suddenly gone. Especially if your best friend has been around for a while, it can seem like you've lost your other half. You'll look back on the memories, and miss the good ol' days when everything was sweet instead of sour. Don't worry; you'll find your feet again. But letting yourself cry it out is an imporant step.
Even if cutting ties between you and someone in your crew is completely healthy for both of you, it can still hurt. You want nothing more than for things to be different, and you might consider calling her in hopes of figuring it all out. Truth is, you can't change the past. So, cry it out in the present and then focus on yourself in the future.
4. The Apology
The next step is all about saying you're sorry. In some situations, you and your bestie might skip over this stage. Maybe there's just too much bad blood, or the friendship breakup feels too bitter for you to face each other again. Saying, "I'm sorry," can seem so simple, but for any split it can be a pretty big moment.
This is the moment when you and your bestie put all of your problems aside, and hopefully hug it out a bit. You've both probably said and done things you didn't mean, but you care enough about each other that an apology goes a long way. You'll appreciate that she acknowledges what she did wrong, and vice versa. Even if you don't totally make up, finding this middle ground will make you both feel better moving forward.
5. The Move On
When all the emotions have finally come and gone, you're ready to move on. You're not angry anymore and have processed those memories that weren't so picture perfect when you look back. Being back on your feet feels better than ever, and you're on your way to living your best life. Sure, you'll still have your moments when you miss your best friend and wish she was around. But, you're rebuilding your life and everything is quite sweet again, or at least getting there.
You've put your focus back on yourself, and are approaching all of your relationships with a new perspective. Maybe you don't want to make the same mistakes going forward, or are more cautious when it comes to choosing your bestie in the future. You really did learn something from your friendship breakup, and you're a stronger human being because of it.
6. The Moment When You See Each Other Again
It's a small world, so you're bound to run into your bestie post-breakup. Maybe you have mutual friends, or just pass each other on the sidewalk while you're on the way to work. At first, it'll feel incredibly weird — almost like your best friend is a stranger again. You'll make small talk and catch up a bit over an awkward cup of coffee. Remember when you were having sleepovers and calling each other at 2 A.M.? You couldn't imagine reliving any of those moments now, especially since you've moved on.
The stage of seeing each other again is just as important as an apology, or even crying it out, though. You shouldn't ever hold grudges in life because it's honestly a waste of your time and energy. Coming face-to-face with your best friend will show that you can be adults and move past your problems.
7. The New Bestie
When you were hugging your box of tissues, you thought that you'd never find another bestie. You know, the girl who knew you so well, and always seemingly had the right thing to say. But, the universe used this breakup to bring someone even better into your life, and you're oh-so grateful when this stage comes around.
Your new best friend will be the sidekick you never knew you needed. She'll be the brightest person in your life, and put all of those missing pieces back to the puzzle. You'll love making memories and spending late nights on the phone with her just the same.
Friendship breakups are tough, but having somebody to lean on makes it so much easier. Thank goodness your new friend came into your life, and you can now say that you've healed after going through these difficult stages.