The Best Singlehood Advice For Your College Years, According To 6 Women
For many people, one of the most thrilling aspects of going to college is that it presents a plethora of new dating opportunities. No longer confined to the criminally small dating pool you spent four years with in high school, your world opens up, and the possibilities for romance are endless. But before you start fantasizing about having combo snuggle/study sessions with that lust-worthy classmate of yours, consider this: There are a ton of benefits to remaining single during college, too. So, the best singlehood advice for your college years may very well be to simply sit back and enjoy the ride.
While unattached, you can focus more on pursuing your passions, bonding with your new roomies, and delving into the unparalleled self-discovery that inevitably comes with going to college. While you’re single, you’re free to do whatever you want, whenever you want — that includes spontaneously deciding to study abroad, or finally asking that cutie from your chem class to grab an iced coffee. Just as being single during your college years has its perks, it obviously also has its pitfalls as well. These may include a touch of longing when you’re snuggling up solo to binge watch Stranger Things or having to cope with irritating questions and comments from family members around the holidays (you can tell Aunt Janice to shut it.)
It seems that the pros definitely outweigh the cons when it comes to being single in college. But there are certain things to keep in mind while riding solo during your college years — and luckily, these women are serving up some sound advice to ensure you have a safe, satisfying experience.
Have a code word.
This may sound a little strange but my roommates, my sisters and I had the “Find My Friends” app and we each had a drink we hated as a code for if the night wasn’t going great. Example: One friend hates lemonade. If someone got a message and somehow slipped the word “lemonade” in the convo (whether it was one word or a photo with the drink) we would use the “Find My Friend” app to see where she was.
Sometimes, we’d ask “Ewww how bad is it?” Depending on the response, at least one of us or all of us would head near to where she was so she had an easy out, and text her that we were there to interrupt the date. Could be a bit much, but it also gave us peace of mind. So many people take photos of their drinks that it was pretty inconspicuous.
— Laura, 32
I have been single my whole life but during college, I remember thinking that I was a loser because all of my friends were in relationships that they are still in post-college. My advice is — don't try to just date someone just to do it because everyone else is, and don't feel the pressure or need to be in a relationship. College is such an important time for growth so whether or not you are in one or aren’t you shouldn’t feel the need to do one or the other!
— Kalina, 23
Live your life.
Don’t spend all your time sitting around waiting to get texted back.
— Becky, 30
Just enjoy it. I was so eager to find a boyfriend as soon as I got to college, that I often wonder what would have happened and who I might have met if I had just been patient and allowed myself to be single for a few years.
— Cassie, 28
Stick with your friends.
Leave with the people you showed up with. Don’t ditch your friends, and for God’s sake don’t leave with some dude you just met.
— Stephanie, 36
Focus on what matters to you.
Remember what you’re there for. I don’t know, maybe some people go to college to meet the person they’re going to marry, but for me, it was about figuring out what I want to do with my life. Because I was single, I was able to bury myself in extracurriculars — I worked in various roles on 12 different film shoots my freshman year alone. I don’t know how I could have balanced those commitments with a relationship. And every one of those experiences taught me so much — valuable knowledge that has benefited my career today.
Ultimately, how you choose to handle dating (or not dating) during college is a completely personal choice. There’s no right or wrong way to go about it — as long as you trust your instincts and take certain measures to stay safe, of course. Above all, remember that your dating life doesn’t have to define your college experience — there’s so much more to get out of these formative years, from forging new friendships to exploring new interests.