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Target Is Selling $5 Bottles Of Rosé Soon, So Goodbye Money

by Lizzy Rosenberg

As you may know, Target trips are always incredibly nerve-racking. Many of us frequent Target shoppers know that it's scientifically impossible to get just a few essentials at the beloved super store. In fact, sometimes you end up bringing home two shopping carts worth of things you never even knew you needed. And if you're wondering what you'll be stocking up on next, Target's $5 California Roots Rosé is about to deplete your entire bank account. Sorry, retirement savings.

If you think about it, the fact that Target is selling $5 rosé is kind of a double edged sword. Just hear me out: On one hand, I'll definitely end up saving an exorbitant amount per each bottle of rosé, which is pretty cool. But, on the other hand, I'll probably end up buying a few caseloads of it at once — because seriously, how could I not buy this in bulk? I have absolutely no idea how much money I'll actually end up saving, because stocking up on $5 bottles is unavoidable. Is there such thing as taking out a loan for my rosé fund? Could I potentially take out a mortgage? I think that's really just what I'll have to resort to. I'm really channeling some of those Kristen Wiig circa Bridesmaids vibes, at this moment in time.

According to a press release, Target launched their store brand wine called California Roots last August. And since then, its become a best-seller among all of the wine brands the store sells. On Tuesday, April 3, the stars aligned because Target officially announced that they would be expanding their $5 California Roots wine assortment to include summer's hottest drink: rosé. Is that a round of applause that I hear? Maybe it's a choir singing? I'm not sure what it is, but even though it's about to eat all of my money, California Roots Rosé is truly saving the day.

In 2017, per the release, alcoholic beverages were Target's fastest-growing division in their food and beverage category (and I probably made the largest dent in that statistic, because really, who doesn't love cheap booze?). The also explains that rosé is one of Target's most popular alcoholic beverages... and since it's the ideal summer beverage, it'll probably remain trendy for the foreseeable future. California Roots Rosé is said to taste simultaneously fruity and flowery, and will finally start filling our cards by April 8 at over 1,100 Target stores throughout the U.S.

Looking for the perfect poolside snacks to pair with your rosé? There are so many fun rosé-flavored foods and desserts this world has to offer, and each and every one of them sounds pretty damn glorious. If you're in the mood for some fruity candies, definitely take a look at rosé-flavored lollipops, gummy bears, and swizzle sticks. But, if you're more in the mood to get choco-wasted (because same), make sure to get your hands on some of that rich AF rosé chocolate. And finally, if you just want to cool the hell off from all that summer sunshine, rosé popsicles are now a thing. With rosé gaining extreme popularity, there are so many festive and flavorful options to choose from.

OK so I don't know if everyone's wallets are at risk every time they go to Target, but I know my bank account definitely quivers in fear whenever I'm within like, a ten mile radius of the store. And, with the addition of $5 rosé, things are about to get extremely unpredictable. Will I have enough money for rent? Will I be able to swing a grocery run? Nobody really knows what's about to happen, so preparing for the worst (but also the best) is most definitely necessary.