Valentine's Day is just another day. Perhaps that's all the reassurance you need if you're newly single, chronically single, or heck, even happily-ever-after single on Cupid's birthday. Of course, there are lots of things to remember if you’re
single on Valentine’s Day, there are even plenty of fun things to do by yourself, with some pals, or with a first date, if you're really feeling it.
It's important to say that Feb. 14 can be a source of stress for all of us — from the cuffed up, to the single, to those in a poly relationship with six people. Yet, the middle day of the shortest month of the year doesn't need to be determined by your current romantic status. Valentine's Day can be a special time to reflect on the beautiful friendships you have or your own strengths and abilities. Love is, after all, romantic, platonic, familial, or self. If the red hearts and pink candies are making you feel blue, Valentine's Day is a great time to get some face masks, pump the self-care, and recenter your mind about all the gifts you give the world.
Here are nine things to remember if you're single on Valentine's Day.
You are complete, whole, loved, and supported.
Not to sound like a complete hippie, but every morning you get to breathe air, feel the sun, and live you life. The universe is so vast, and loves you so much. And you are a strong, thoughtful, powerful force of nature that is so loved and supported by the world around you, no matter your romantic status.
You can do "couples" things with whoever you want.
Whether it's a massage, a meal, or some other fun thing that "couples" do, grab a pal and hit it up. You may even be able to score a couples discount!
Sure, dating rules. But being single is also awesome! You can order whatever food you want and you don't need to share it, you don't need to get a gift for anyone but yourself, you never have to compromise on your plans, or consider another person when doing what you want to do.
Your friendships are important relationships.
Dating someone is not the only way to procure intimacy, love, or support from other people. Take this day to write letters to your friends about all that they bring to your life.
Don't wait for someone else to do the things you want to do.
You don't need another person to do the things you want to do. This is important to remember everyday of the year, and isn't necessarily about dating. If you want to switch jobs, visit a new city, or chop all your hair off, the only person's opinion or permission you need is your own. For Feb. 14 specifically, write the short story you've been obsessing over or go to that concert that you wanted to see by yourself.
Affirmations are powerful.
I live with angels and we all keep affirmations around our house. From "I love myself enough to let the world know what I am capable of" to a simple "I am enough," seeing and repeating mantras and affirmations of self care and love can be super powerful. It may sound cheesy, and maybe it is, but reminding yourself that you have the right to be lazy or moody, or that you are strong and powerful could make all the difference.
You are a flawless flower. Being single and taking time to be intentional and selective about who you are going to spend your time and energy on is a really
good thing. You're not going to settle for less than you deserve and you shouldn't need to. 08
There's no need to compete or compare.
This is a hard one, but so radically important. Looking at your friend's relationship and berating yourself for being single, or rolling your eyes at your roommate and their partner who is kind of an idiot that you would
never date, isn't really helpful. You are you. You will find the love that's right for you. You don't need to compete with other's in happy relationships, or compare your standards to others who are dating people you don't think are cute or smart. 09
Sometimes it's good to be alone.
It can be scary to do hard things by yourself, but it can also be really empowering. Whether you've never been on an airplane alone, gone to a museum solo, or slept in your house without your roomies — sometimes being brave can feel freaking awesome. You'll learn new things about yourself, and get to experience so much.
Single on Valentine's Day doesn't mean you're doomed — on the contrary! Do some self-care, buy some good snacks, and think about all the people that you love, in lots of different ways. No matter what you're feeling on Feb. 14, may you remember that you don't need a significant other to feel significant yourself.