Picture this: You're home alone, watching The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina on Netflix, while your significant other is out having a blast with their friends. Maybe you just want to check in on them, to see when they're going to be home. But you hesitate when reaching for your phone, and wonder: Should you text your partner when they’re with friends? The answer depends entirely on the boundaries you've previously set together within your relationship.
In any relationship, both individuals must come together in order to set boundaries. Even if you and your partner are as close as can be, there are still lines you might not want to cross. Whether those boundaries take place mostly in the bedroom, bathroom, or have more to do with the remote, they're all valid. But sometimes, it can be hard to establish those boundaries and open up an honest dialogue about what each of them means for you.
"If you happen to know that your partner is with friends, then texting is just going to interrupt, so don’t do it," April Masini, relationship and etiquette expert, tells Elite Daily. If you trust your partner and want them to enjoy their time with their friends, reconsider texting them incessantly.
Masini adds that texting them in the case of an urgent matter would make sense, but you don't necessarily need to ask them how it's going while they're with friends. "If you want your partner to have a seamless visit with friends, without interruption, then why not simply wait until later to text?" she says. "Unless it’s an emergency, if you know your partner is with friends, hold off on texting until later."
Of course, there are always exceptions. "If you and your partner have an established pattern of texting each other at all times, no matter what, because you each know that the other will wait to respond if they’re busy, then it’s fine to text when your partner is with friends," she adds. Basically, if you and your significant other have set the boundary to include casual texts when out and about, then it's totally OK to text them while they're with friends. Moreover, "your text may not need a response, and/or it may provide information that your partner wants or needs during the visit with friends, so in any of these cases, it’s not just okay, it’s a good idea to text your partner when he or she is with friends."
If you trust your partner and don't feel the need to text them, then reconsider whether or not you truly want to. However, Masini also recognizes that it's sometimes truly necessary to contact your partner. "If you are intent upon establishing your presence, and are intending to be territorial to let your partner and his or her friends know that you not only exist, but that you’re important and you’re a part of your partner’s life — often because the friends are not fans of yours — then this type of texting while your partner is with these friends can be a relationship tool," Masini says.
Every relationship is different, and whether or not you text your partner when they're out with their friends largely depends on the boundaries you've set together. If you feel that you might be texting them from a place of mistrust, there might more deep-seated issues you need to address and communicate honestly to your partner. But if you feel that it's an absolute necessity to shoot your boo a hilarious dog meme you just found on Instagram, then honey — text away!