Pointing to a clip from Superbad that makes fun of lube, Katie wants you to know there are approximately zero things to be ashamed of if you want to incorporate it into your bedroom routine. "You are not an old dried-up lady if you want to add lube to the bedroom," she says. "You could be a juicy motherf*cker, but that only goes so far when you're changing positions."

"So, are you 'umbrella' or 'circus'? Like, I couldn't even ask him if was circumcised or not," Katie said, of her first time having sex when she was 16 years old. Celebs, they're just like us!

"Be honest, who's masturbating more than they normally do? I swear, there was a day where I did it three times just because I was bored, and I could," she said. "It's like when you're hungry and you open the fridge throughout the day but the same stuff is in there. It's not any better but you just keep doing it." If that isn't the perfect analogy for quarantine horniness, I don't know what is.

Like the rest of the internet, Katie also watched 365 Days — the controversial film that went viral for its graphic, non-consensual sex scenes in summer 2020. "First of all, let's make sure we know the difference between dominant and being a rapist. There's a pretty fine line there and it's called consent," she said. "I'm not looking for that kind of dominance ... I 'm looking for the guy who goes to work wearing the tie, comes home, takes off the tie, then uses it on me — with consent. And then, maybe he like smacks me a little bit but then is like 'Was that too hard?' and I'm like, 'No do it harder, it's OK.' You know? Like, I want dominant, but like, partnership."

Unsurprising to anyone who watched the first night of The Bachelor Season 25, Katie is no stranger to sex toys. Clearly she can laugh at herself — like in this TikTok, where she pretends she's giving viewers a review of a really great... face brush. "What I like to do is put my favorite lotion on there right before bed and really rub it in, and it just feels so good," she says. "It's going to help you stay youthful, and I highly recommend it. You can get it on Amazon, guys and girls, and just rub it all over your face." Noted!

Screenshotting a gross DM and sharing it with all your friends is peak group chat behavior.

Yes, setting up mood lighting and getting comfy in bed is ideal for a sexting sesh. But sometimes you just don't have time for all that. And that's OK!

In this TikTok, Katie outlined her go-to tip for the morning after a one-night stand when you're trying to book it ASAP. "The next morning when I woke up I was completely naked on top of his bed, like, no covers, nothing, and I'm like, 'Holy sh*t, I need to leave,'" she said. "But it's dark still and I don't know where any of my sh*t is, so if I could give anybody advice on how to properly do a one-night stand, either A: Go back to sleep with your clothes on so you can make an easy escape, or B: Put all your things, including your keys and clothes, in a nice little pile, so you're not stuck crawling on the ground naked like I was." (Put ✍️ things ✍️ in ✍️ pile.)

LOL at this story about how she saved a d*ck pic and realized it was taken five years ago. Then, in wondering why someone would recycle a d*ck pic, she asked herself: Do penises age? "I'm a little offended that this guy did not send me an exclusive, one-of-a-kind d*ck pic," she said. "Does a penis age? Is this why he's recycling this? Is his d*ck old and wrinkly and gray now? What's happening?"

Where do I sign up to be Katie Thurston's new best friend? Serious suggestions only please, thank you.