Sometimes, it can seem like so much of life revolves around falling in love. It can feel like being in a relationship is the most important thing on the planet, and when you're not in a relationship, as if you're the only single person left. But that simply isn't true. If you've never been in a relationship, that is perfectly normal and OK. Everyone is different, and if you do decide to enter a relationship, know that you can do so in your own time, whenever you're ready.
In fact, I had never been in a real relationship until my current one. There were so many days, months, and years when I questioned myself because I'd never been in a relationship. But I should have trusted my own instincts! If you are in that place right now, know that there's nothing wrong with that, either.
"Each of us have our own unique path to walk in the hopes that we will become who we really are through our lifetime — meaning become an authentic expression of who we are deep inside," Heather Kristian Strang, spiritual author, guide, and matchmaker, tells Elite Daily.
You are your own person, and being single does nothing to invalidate your identity.
Perhaps you have been looking for a relationship, but have had trouble falling into one or meeting your match. "If we have not had a relationship, we might be avoiding it due to traumas with our parents or from some unresolved hurts," Strang explains. "Partnering and being in relationship is natural to the way we were created, so if this isn't happening at all for us, it's something we want to explore so that we can grow and become all that we came to be in this lifetime."
Additionally, "there are several reasons why this could be the case," dating and relationships expert, Anita A. Chlipala, tells Elite Daily. There are a lot of explanations for why you've ever had a relationship, all of which are valid. "People who are 'avoidant-attached' avoid closeness, and depending on their level of avoidance, end up jumping from one person to another without a real relationship. People who are 'anxiously attached' can find themselves in situations where they get attached to people who breadcrumb them." Understandably, if you keep finding yourself in situations where you keep getting screwed over, why would you want to commit to a relationship?
If you believe that you are subconsciously guarding your heart, experts recommend taking a step back and trying to unearth why you might be holding back from the possibility of a real relationship. At the end of the day, Chlipala reminds us that there are many positives to being single. In fact, it might even "increase your chances of holding out for this 'perfect' person because you rationalize that you've waited so long for someone, that you won't settle for anything less than the best." So don't stress — these things take time, and are difficult to control!
Remember, you never need to settle for someone just because you want a relationship, and you should never feel guilty or any kind of shame about singledom. You have to do what's best for you, bae or no bae. Love has a way of finding us when we least expect it, in the places we never thought to look!