6 Things People Who've Never Been In A Relationship Are Tired Of Hearing, So Kindly Refrain
As awesome as relationships are, they aren't everything. Being single is great, too, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you if you feel like you're always single. I can relate. Before I'd met my fiancé, I'd legitimately never been in an actual relationship. Sure, I'd gone on dates, had some fun, and had some flirtationships along the way, but never a real, long-term relationship. So really, I know that the things people who’ve never been in a relationship are tired of hearing are plenty, because I have experienced them firsthand.
Aside from awkward family gatherings where your great aunt keeps bugging you about what you're doing with your life, being single also means having to deal with a lot of unwanted advice from well-meaning friends. Sure, your married friends who have been together since high school only want you to be happy, but that doesn't mean you want to hear it all the time.
To be honest, I still hate hearing all of these things myself, and for those of us who've never had much relationship experience, it's always exasperating. There are plenty of reasons to have never had a relationship, but you don't owe anyone an explanation. Remember that the next time you hear any of these comments.
1. "It'll happen when it happens."
Is there anything worse than hearing this from someone in a happy relationship? Answer: No. This is the most cliched, annoying "advice" people who have never been in a relationship hear from people who have.
Sure, it might be true, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. When you've never had a relationship, hearing the simple phrase that it will eventually happen isn't exactly helpful.
2. "When one door closes..."
Ugh, honestly this one might just be more annoying. If you were seeing someone who you thought could eventually be your boo thang, and then it ended, your friends might try and soothe you. Obviously they mean well, but this cliché is just as annoying as it unhelpful.
3. "Have you tried online dating?"
Whether someone suggests online dating, or a dating app, it's still frustrating. You're single, not stupid! Just because someone has never been in a relationship doesn't mean they haven't tried to be in a relationship. So, thanks for the suggestion, but I know how to swipe right, Karen.
4. "There's plenty of other fish in the sea."
This is just as frustrating as any other cliché, but it's super sad to hear after you've ended things with an almost-relationship. Yes, there are a lot of other people out there who could eventually be "the one," but that doesn't make this any easier.
5. "Maybe you're just too picky."
If you've never been in a serious relationship, then you've probably dealt with people wondering why all the time. First of all, you don't owe anyone an explanation for why you're single, but if people assume you're just too picky, then, um, bye! You deserve to find the absolute best person for you, and if you don't want to waste your time with someone who you know is wrong, then don't!
6. "Do you think you'll get married one day?"
Really, this one could have anything to do with marriage or kids. It's absolutely no one's business whether or not you want to get married and have kids, so that makes this extra annoying. Then, there's the assumption that because you've never had a relationship, you're never going to get married.
This is super hurtful for people who do want to get married, and it's also just invasive in general. Obviously, we all want the best for our friends and family, but speaking as someone who had never been in a relationship before her current one, just don't with these questions, OK?
They're unnecessary, unwanted, and just plain annoying. If you've never been in a relationship, that's OK! There's nothing wrong with you, and if someone says one of these things to you, then you have full permission to roll your eyes and walk away.
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