The fact that you’ve been totally OK on your own means you’re likely a highly independent person — and that can actually be immensely advantageous, both in your personal life and in your potential relationships. The fact that you don't need someone else to "complete" you means you're more likely to form healthy bonds.
“This can be helpful in establishing secure attachments and not feel reliant on a partner to feel good about yourself,” explains Shapiro. “And, it can make a relationship stronger when both individuals feel secure enough to have different interests, friends, experiences and know that the relationship is about each other rather than just what interests, experiences, etc. are shared.”
It’s worth noting that independence is also an incredibly attractive quality. So next time you’re feeling a little self-conscious about your lack of relationships, remember that prospective dates will likely find your self-reliance to be super hot.
Hopefully, keeping these things in mind will help you to remember the positive aspects of being a so-called "late bloomer." If you’re still feeling insecure about your lack of experience, however, Shapiro recommends either talking to a therapist to help normalize your fears or reading a book that provides some psychoeducation.
“Reading and learning about relationship models can provide extra support and give you the tools to build with kind of relationship you want,” she added.
If you’re feeling nervous about embarking on your first relationship, Shapiro advises being as open and honest about it as possible.
“If your new potential partner judges you about this, then they are not the right person for you,” she says. “The right person will appreciate this and even think it’s special that you are picking them to have this new experience with.”
Guess what? Falling for someone and deciding to commit to them is not something we can force or make happen on our own ideal timeline. Ultimately, your first relationship — should you choose to have one — will happen when the timing is right for you. In the meantime, focus on all of the things that make you unique and lovable as an individual. Trust me, those things will matter far more to any future partner than your level of experience ever could.
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