Carolyn Lagattuta

If You're Guarding Your Heart So You Don't Get Hurt, Date A 'Nice Guy'

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After years of dealing with players, I gave up on dating. I thought it was safer that way.

I figured if I never opened up, there was no way I could get hurt. Then I met a nice guy who showed me how much more fulfilling life is when you let your guard down and allow yourself to be vulnerable.

A nice guy isn't necessarily the boring one. He just allows you to be yourself. He likes all your flaws and quirks: he even likes you because of them.

He will protect your precious heart because he is just as sensitive as you. He is willing to listen to your fears and concerns. He cares about pleasing you just as much as you care about pleasing him.

My nice guy has shown me why it's okay to let my guard down. Here are a few of the reasons why.

1. They actually care about you.

A nice guy will wonder where you are.

He will ask you to text him when you get home after spending the evening with him. He will go out of his way to pick you up so you don't have to drive too far. He will text you good morning and good night every day.

You won't have to question his feelings or intentions because he's honest and straightforward. How refreshing, right?

2. They won't rush into bed.

There is absolutely no need to race to the bedroom when you're with a nice guy.

Taking it slow in the sex department will be gentler on you emotionally, at the start of the relationship. And when you do finally have sex, it'll be epic.

Things can get confusing when you have sex before you know whether or not you like someone. Give yourself time to develop a friendship before you complicate the relationship with sex.

The nice guy won't pressure you to have sex. He will be patient and actually enjoy getting to know who you are.

3. They won't judge.

Whether you've slept around or prefer to curl up on the couch and watch Netflix, they don't care. Nice guys allow you to be who you are.

You don't have to pretend to be someone else to keep him interested.

4. They don't play games.

There is no manipulation. They simply care about you and want to please you and make you happy.

Just ask for what you want and need.

Talk about what hurts you; apologize when you mess up. Mostly, just be real.

5. You can relax.

The nice guy won't be the first one to run away when he finds out you like him. He's not going to disappear just because you confessed to having feelings for him.

6. You can trust your feelings.

Those horrendous, toxic, gross, tug of war relationships might feel like love just because they involve emotions and are confusing.

But when you find a nice guy, you'll just know that it's real. You won't be mistaking pain with depth of feeling because he won't hurt you.

7. You deserve it.

"We accept the love we think we deserve".

I heard this quote and it really resonated with me. So often, we don't give ourselves the credit we deserve.

But by making your most important, intimate relationship with someone a connection which carries strength and feelings, it's a true gift to yourself.

Allow yourself to put in the time and effort to make a connection with a good guy.

It's worth it. Honestly, you don't deserve anything less.