If You're Sick Of Casual Dating, Keep In Mind These 4 Mantras
I'm no scientist, but I am pretty sure getting sick of casual dating is about as common as the common cold itself. If you're sick of casual dating, you're absolutely not alone. It can be really hard to constantly put yourself out there, and sometimes, trying to keep things casual can just mean things get even more weird and confusing as time goes on.
If you're feeling burnt out, it can be such a deeply muting and exhausting. Instead of trying to get out of the funk, take a second to listen to yourself, because the burn out is trying to tell you something. Take a second to consider what you really, truly want, and then assess your past few dating experiences. Are they matching up? What is it that you're looking for? Have the past dating experiences that you've had given you those things or check any of the boxes on your list? You may be tired of being let down and need some time to heal. And that's perfectly OK.
Check out these mantras if you're tired of casual dating.
It's OK To Want What You Want And Ask For It
If you feel like you get into dating and crush situations where you really like the person, but things aren't necessarily meeting your needs, it can be exhausting.
I met this girl who was amazing; she was brilliant, funny, stylish, and something about her just made me swoon. Even though I was smitten, the way the crush proceeded was driving me crazy. I was anxious all of the time and just bummed. My friend mentioned that even though she might be a fantastic person and exactly my type, it didn't seem like it was what I needed. As soon as I realized this about her, it helped me to understand what I should look for in a potential person Now, in the future, I can aim to find an amazing person that is also willing to meet me where I am at.
It's OK To Take Time For Yourself
It would be too easy, and likely unhelpful, for me to say that you could just not casually date if it's exhausting. It's not fair to have to count yourself out of something you want to be doing simply because you're tired!
That being said, there's nothing wrong with taking a break — and that could be just the medicine you need. Taking some time away from casual dating could help you recharge and heal from the stuff that's really emptied your proverbial gas tank.
And as soon as you're ready to get back out there, the "plenty of fish in the sea" that everyone's always talking about will be there waiting for you.
There Are People Out There Who Are Looking For What I Want, Too
Maybe you don't actually want to be dating casually at all. It can feel very vulnerable to state that you're actually looking for something more serious, especially if every dating experience you've had as of late has disappointed you and left you feeling unappreciated.
Take a second to reflect on what you're looking for. If everyone you date says that they're not looking for something committed or exclusive, it could also mean that you're not looking for something casual. Understanding this about yourself could lead you to someone who is ready and willing to commit to the amazing person that you are.
Your Feelings, Wants, And Needs Are Valid And Worthy — And You Don't Owe Anyone Anything
Alternatively, if you are sick of casual dating because it ends up getting dramatic or complicated, you could be frustrated that other people don't want things as casual as you do. Despite what people say, casual dating can feel like anything but. And sometimes feelings do change, but that doesn't mean you owe anyone anything.
In 500 Days of Summer, there's a whole plot is based off a guy who didn't listen when a woman he was dating said that she didn't want anything serious. When people say that, they usually mean it. You're not a bad person for wanting to date casually, but it can be really hard and exhausting when others try to change your mind. But your wants and needs are valid!
Dating can be amazing and empowering, but when it's a headache, it can really get you down. Hopefully, there's some solace in knowing that your exhaustion isn't irrational and you're always allowed to take time to yourself and recharge. When in doubt, repeat these mantras!